Merchandise, Movies

Darth Vader Gives Directions Only Slightly Better than He Takes Them

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Specifically, car directions, as UK users of TomTom GPSes can now download Darth Vader’s voice for them. Frankly, I’d think TomTom could just automatically send Vader’s voice to all of their subscribers and charge them all the 13 pounds because fuck it, who doesn’t want Darth Vader as their GPS? I can’t even imagine.

Speaking of can’t even imagine, apparently Yoda’s voice is due in June, C-3PO’s voice will be available in July, and — here’s where it gets weird — Han Solo’s voice will be released in August. Um, the hell? I know Harrison Ford didn’t sign up for this. Or did he? Does Lucasfilm have a new young Solo voice? Did Harrison Ford get so drunk on the set of the Crystal Skull that TomTom employees could secretly record his drunken ramblings, which they’ve been painstakingly re-editing into GPS instructions? I seriously need to know. (Via Nerdbastards)

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.