I was unaware that the Charity to Give Stephen Baldwin Your Money Because He Spent All His existed until a few hours ago, and now I can think of nothing else. The idea that 1) Stephen Baldwin compares himself to Job (a man who had all his children die and was covered in boils and sores) because he’s a shitty actor who no financial management skills is fucking outrageous, and what’s even more outrageous is that he’s asking you for your money so he can be rich again because that’s what he thinks god wants you to do. No, don’t donate to the hungry or flood victims in Tennessee or the diseased orphans in Africa, what god really wants is for you to make sure Stephen Baldwin gets rich again without having to star in a movie or anything. Honestly, I’m not trying to knock Christianity here — I’m pretty sure any good Christian would think Stephen Baldwin is an egomaniacal asshole who has no concept of the tenets of his own religion. Go ahead, watch his video. It’s astounding in its awfulness.
What does this have to do with nerdery? Not much, actually, except that someone — and I wouldn’t put it past Jesus — is giving you another charity to invest in that might be somewhat more preferable to Baldwin’s (you don’t have to watch Baldwin’s video first, but it doesn’t hurt).
Stephen, why don’t you let us know when you’re covered in boils? Not because then we’ll believe you’re similar to Job and give you our money, but just so we can point and laugh and say, “Good.” Thanks to chudleycannonfodder for the tip.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.