Toys, TV

The Reavers Have Made a Firefly/Captain Mal Figure

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?Oh, my bad. That’s a Tonner doll. I just looked at the figure briefly and assumed it was the kind of toys a race of insane space-faring cannibals might construct in their free time when they’re not eating people. You know, I don’t give Tonner enough credit; they grab a lot of licenses other toy companies have (although Firefly isn’t one of those, oddly), but only Tonner has the guts to sculpt heads that look absolutely nothing like their intended characters and actors. Most toy companies would take the chicken-shit way out and say, “You know, maybe we should make this Captain Mal figure look somewhat vaguely like Nathan Fillion. Even just a little. Maybe around the eyes.” But not Tonner! God knows how many sculpts that were vaguely reminiscent of Fillion that had to go through before finally settling on this one, which resembles the actor in absolutely no way whatsoever; no wonder this thing costs $150+. You have balls, Tonner. Not a lick of sense, but you do have balls.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.