Dear Fellow Haters of E.T. — would you like to not sleep for a week? Then please watch the above video, a clip of some awful Turkish E.T. rip-off sent to me by TR reader chudleycannonfodder. It manages to be exactly as awful as the actual E.T. movie; or maybe a little moreso, since I think the horrible little extra-terrestrial is muttering some kind of with Satanic chant the entire time. I don’t care how stupid you think the alien looks here; if I saw that thing in my house, I would literally shit myself to death in pure terror. And I would welcome a feces-related death as a blessed relief from having to deal with that… thing.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.