Meet Your New Friendly Neighborhood Hipster Douchebag Spider-Man
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?Sony confirmed that Andrew Garfield, that stunning hunk of masculinity you see above, has been cast as Peter Parker in the new Spider-Man reboot. This Spider-Man movie, if you recall, was supposed to be a fresh start with a younger, high school-aged Spidey, so it makes sense that they’d cast a 27-year-old who has appeared in both jack and shit.
Look, Matt Smith has proven to me that actors can be exceedingly weird looking and still do a great job; there’s no reason I know of that Garfield here might not be great. Maybe after the Spider-Man reboot premiere, we’ll all be here, laughing at how worried we once were that a boy named after a lasagna-eating cat got the role. But if they were just going to cast this guy, then I’m extra-pissed they didn’t give Donald Glover a shot.
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.