Meet Your New Friendly Neighborhood Hipster Douchebag Spider-Man


?Sony confirmed that Andrew Garfield, that stunning hunk of masculinity you see above, has been cast as Peter Parker in the new Spider-Man reboot. This Spider-Man movie, if you recall, was supposed to be a fresh start with a younger, high school-aged Spidey, so it makes sense that they’d cast a 27-year-old who has appeared in both jack and shit.

Look, Matt Smith has proven to me that actors can be exceedingly weird looking and still do a great job; there’s no reason I know of that Garfield here might not be great. Maybe after the Spider-Man reboot premiere, we’ll all be here, laughing at how worried we once were that a boy named after a lasagna-eating cat got the role. But if they were just going to cast this guy, then I’m extra-pissed they didn’t give Donald Glover a shot.