?The San Diego Comic Con has been sold out for awhile now, meaning that your dreams of hobnobbing with celebrities, picking up bargains and stalking Olivia Munn will have to go unfulfilled until 2011. With each passing year, the event gets increasingly popular, to the point that it is now such a clusterfuck that you are guaranteed to miss out on all the cool stuff unless you have some serious connections or are willing to wait for hours in unreasonably long lines. This bit of frustration goes double for the con’s exclusive merchandise. Sure, most of the action figures, busts, art and other bits of wonderment sold there eventually turn up online. But who wants to pay the often outrageous secondary market prices? This year’s SDCC seems especially packed with the sort of tchotchkes that make fanboys drool. The sad part is that most of us will never get our nerdy unloved hands on this stuff. With that bit of unfortunate truth revealed, Topless Robot rubs salt in your wounds by presenting this look at the 20 greatest exclusives of the 2010 San Diego Comic Con. It’s exactly this sort of elusive coolness that the “Awesome Things You’ll Never Own” tag was created for. Let the sublime misery commence!
20) Peanuts Image3D Viewer
?Celebrate 60 years of Peanuts with this device that looks and
acts exactly like a View-Master but can’t be called one for legal
reasons. It comes with a reel featuring classic photos of Charlie Brown
and the gang, making this a delightfully retro convention find.
19) Doctor Who’s Eleventh Doctor
with Scientist Dalek
I’m not sure why the above video is using Murray Gold’s pensive “The
Face of Boe” theme instead of The Timelords’ rocking “Doctorin’ the
Tardis” jam for its musical accompaniment, because this year’s Doctor
Who exclusives merit celebrating in the extreme. They are as
follows: Peter Davison regeneration figure in which the Fifth Doc is
wearing Tom Baker’s escalator-fearing scarf, a Fifth Doctor with The
Master (Anthony Ainley), a Third Doctor with The Master (Roger Delgado),
The First Doctor with Tardis (as seen in the debut episode, “An
Unearthly Child”), a set based on “The End of Time” and an Eleventh Doc
with a Dalek scientist from this year’s “Victory of the Daleks” episode.
Your mileage may vary on which of these you desire, but for me it’s all
about the orange Dalek that reminds me of those featured in the 1960s Who
films starring Peter Cushing (which hopefully will get their own
figures at some point)
18) Jonah Hex’s Saloon Leila
?It may seem that Tonner bet the wrong horse by releasing this deluxe
doll of Megan Fox’s Jonah Hex character in her revealing saloon
outfit since the movie tanked so miserably. But to that I say never
underestimate the power of horny nerds with disposable income.
17) DCUC Plastic-Man with Suitcase
?Before one of you blows a nerd gasket, yes, we agree this is one of the finest DC Universe figures Mattel has ever put out. Plas here comes with a ton of alternate limbs, many of which are actually stretchy, and of course, just being an awesome Plastic Man figure is pretty fantastic, too. However, the SDCC exclusive part of this thing isn’t the figure, but an accessory of Plas disguised as a suitcase — cool, especially since you can attach other limbs to him — but, like, #17 cool.
16) Star Wars McQuarrie Vader Bust
Any merchandise based on Ralph McQuarrie’s Star Wars production
illustrations are worthy of your adoration, especially beauties like
this bust from Gentle Giant. At $75, it’s one of the more reasonably
priced exclusives at the con.
15) Guardian Predator
This toy replica of the only thing that annoys Danny Glover more than
Mel Gibson’s voice mail messages makes it SDCC debut. Distributed by
Sideshow Collectibles, the Guardian Predator from Predator 2 is
Hot Toys’ latest insanely cool/ultra expensive 1/6th scale figure. This
baby will set you back nearly $200, yet the amazing level of detail on
display here makes that price seem like a bargain.
14) Robot Chicken’s Mo-Larr vs.
?Skeletor doesn’t seem that hardcore once you realize he is scared of
dentists, does he? This Robot Chicken-inspired two-pack is
bliss to He-Man fanatics and Adult Swim worshippers alike. Too bad you
have absolutely zero chance of ever owning one. As Rob has previously
documented, attempting to get Mattel’s exclusives are a special kind of
torture — much like going to the dentist itself. So to those of you who
covet this, my thoughts are with you.
13) Super Hero Squad Sunday Morning Dr. Doom
?echnically Doom here is in a three-pack with Iron Man and the Stan Lee-voiced Mayor from the cartoon. But c’mon — Doom in a robe, holding his morning coffee and newspaper? Furthermore, wearing Fing Fang Foom slippers? This is absolutely the greatest Squad figure Hasbro has ever produced. Expect to see mountains of Iron Men and Mayors in the trash cans by the Hasbro booth.
12) Futurama’s Plush Nibbler
?Toynami’s plush features everyone’s favorite Nibblonian in his nifty spacesuit. It may seem adorable now, but the novelty will wear off pretty quickly once he starts shitting dark matter all over your house.
11) The Real Ghostbusters’ Peter Venkman
?Mattel has gone all out for this year’s event, so expect to see the company praised repeatedly throughout this list (well, for creating products anyway, actually getting them is a whole other issue). The first recipient of Mattel love is this retrotastic Peter Venkman as he appeared on The Real Ghostbusters. Available in his standard uniform or a slimed variant, the 8-inch figure seems more like an illustration from the Mego Museum forums than a real product. Better still? It talks. A finer tribute to the late Lorenzo Music there has never been.
10) Polly Pocket: Dressed for Justice
?This three-pack that is going for $20 features the Polly Pocket gals dressed up as Batgirl, Wonder Woman and Supergirl. And if you are an adult buying this for yourself you are totally creepy.
9) The Venture Bros.’ Henchman 21 and Henchman 24
?Go Team Venture! If you are wondering why these awesome Mego-styled figures from Bif Bang Pow! aren’t higher up on this list it’s because these will be extremely easy to get online. See, this list isn’t all about blue-balling toy companies — just mostly.
8) G.I. Joe’s Sgt. Slaughter
?Methinks Hasbro’s sculptors are being a bit kind to the Sarge with this svelte figure. Awesomely enough, the above picture makes it look like he’s about to challenge Lt. Falcon to a rap battle. In which case we are going to need someone to supply some old school beats. Which brings us to…
7) Transformers’ Blaster
?Upon learning that Michael Bay won’t be returning for Transformers 4, Blaster called over Steeljaw, Ramhorn and Eject and got to making some party-themed mix tapes. As it turns out, even robots in disguise dig “Poker Face.”
6) MOTUC Color-Changing Orko with Prince Adam
Orko’s not the only thing changing colors. You’ll go from your normal complexion to a fuck-the-world shade of red once this thing sells out two minutes after the convention starts. The embedded clip here features all of Mattel’s frustratingly awesome SDCC exclusives. Jump to 1:28 and let the Orko pain wash over you like a warm rain of bird shit.
5) The Tick’s Barry Hubris
?Obscurity, you face the Tick! The other Tick from Ben Edlund’s The Tick gets his very own figure — pleasing fans of the cartoon, the comic and admirers of esoteric playthings everywhere. There was a Bandai line of action figures corresponding with the Fox toon back in 1994, but the show and the toy line were canceled before Hubris got a chance to be immortalized in plastic. Spooooooon!
4) Wonder Woman’s Invisible Jet
?Like the Tauntaun sleeping bag before it, Hot Wheels’ Invisible Jet toy started its life as an April Fool’s Day joke. The original gag had Mattel offering an empty box, but the official SDCC press pics make it look like they have relented and are now selling an actual toy of Wonder Woman’s favorite ride (there’s some controversy as to whether or not the packaging includes a mock up of the jet or just a plastic tray with a jet-shaped indent). Either way this is both a bit cool and kinda lame — much like the character herself!
3) Jumbo Stormtrooper
?Gentle Giant tugs at your nostalgic heartstring with this fully articulated replica of Kenner’s 12″ Stormtrooper toy. It comes in a clam shell case affixed to a custom-made The Empire Strikes Back card that is a nice tribute to the film’s 30th anniversary. The price? $85 bucks. So now you know the exact cost of buying back your childhood happiness.
2) DC 75th Anniversary Justice League Vs. Starro Pack
Yes, that’s Kevin Conroy (the greatest non-Adam West voice of Batman) as the narrator for this figure set that features Starro the Conqueror and his heroic foes. Enlisting Conroy is just one of the geek-pleasuring small touches that the MattyCollector folks have rolled out for this celebration of DC Comics’ 75th anniversary. Lights, detailed bios, wacky alien spores, this set is a Justice League fan’s dream. If you can’t make it out to the event, this will go on sale at the MattyCollector site on August 2nd. It will become unavailable seconds later, but hey, miracles can sometimes happen.
1) Tron Vintage Figure
?There will be no bigger event at the con this year than the Tron: Legacy panel. It is arguably the biggest nerd event of 2010 and everything and anything related to the film and its predecessor will be very much in vogue for the foreseeable future. Enter Spinmaster Toys and this plastic piece of heaven. What this vintage figure lacks in articulation in more than makes up for in wow factor. It comes encased in a replica of the Tron arcade game cabinet and lights up in the movie’s now iconic neon style. The best bit is that it only costs $40. Which will leave you plenty of money left over to pick some up for your friends here at Topless Robot. Pretty please?
Chris Cummins is a pop culture writer and Archie comics historian who has contributed to The Robot's Voice, Den of Geek US, Philebrity, Geekadelphia, Uproxx, and Unicorn Booty. He is the co-producer and co-host of Nerd Nite Philadelphia, and is regularly involved in producing and hosting New York Super Week events. In 2014, Chris began Sci-Fi Explosion, a mix of live performance, trivia and funny clips celebrating the weirdest in science fiction that regularly travels around the United States. He wrote the introductions to the compilations Archie's Favorite Comics From The Vault and (with Paul Castiglia) Archie's Favorite High School Stories. You can find Chris on Twitter at @bionicbigfoot and @scifiexplosion.