The Nintendo Wii Inches Ever Closer to Pornography
This is a trailer for the upcoming WiiWare game Enjoy Your Massage. It’s all about massaging the backs of shirtless, mediocrely drawn anime women, who moan in pleasure if you do it right. I think the game is pretty much a Simon Says-thing, but you may have to wank your Wii-mote as well. Despite the subject matter and the softcore Skinemax After Dark music, it’s rated E for Everyone.
Look, Nintendo — I don’t want to tell you how to run your business. But if you’re going to approve games like this, just go ahead and make porn games. Seriously. It’s obviously where you’re going, it’s the only interesting thing left to do with the Wii-mote, and you’ll make a jillion dollars. Just do it. I won’t judge you. At least, I won’t judge you any worse than I have for approving Enjoy Your Massage.