Another Good Day for an Anime No One Cares About

When I announced someone was planning on making a live-action Bubblegum Crisis movie, I claimed no one cared about the series. While I know that wasn’t strictly true — it was very big in the early ’90s, and anime fans have affection/nostalgia just like any nerds — I was trying to get across the point that BGC‘s did not have a large enough fanbase to make a movie viable.


?I bring all this up because Starz announced that Sam Raimi is developing a TV series based on the anime series Noir, and I believe, without hyperbole, that genuinely no one cares about that show. It came out in the early ’00s from ADV, was about two insane bland women who were assassins, and was boring as shit. I actually watched the show for Anime Insider, and it was so dull I have no recollection if I watched half or all. Seriously, I defy any of you to get on here and tell me you truly love Noir and are excited about this news.

That said, this anime adaptation has a 900% better shot of working than the Bubblegum Crisis movie. It’s got an appealingly generic name and it’s about attractive women who are assassins — mass audiences will watch that. Take the name and the premise, and leave all the other shit behind. People don’t need to know it’s based on an anime, and if Raimi is smart, he won’t make a big deal out of it, because again, Noir is fucking awful. Add in some over-the-top violence and plenty of tits, and show it on a double-bill with Raimi’s Spartacus series. I’ll watch. (Via Anime News Network)