I understand how insane that sounds, but seriously, watch this trailer for the third Bloodrayne movie — titled Bloodrayne: The Third Reich — and tell me that his meager filmmaking skills don’t seem to be deteriorating. I’ve featured countless fan-made videos that look more professional than this, as well as ones with better special effects. It’s maddening that this man is still allowed to make films, even ones as awful as Bloodrayne 3.
Incidentally, there’s now one more Bloodrayne movie — made by Uwe Boll — than there were Bloodrayne games. If that doesn’t make you wonder if there’s truly a fair and loving god in charge of the universe, I don’t know what will.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.