Joss Whedon’s Official Statement on the New Buffy Debacle

?There’s nothing I can really add to it, so here’s Whedon’s statement, made to E Online‘s Kristen Do Santos, in full:

Kristin,
I’m glad you asked for my thoughts on the announcement of Buffy the
cinema film.  This is a sad, sad reflection on our times, when people
must feed off the carcasses of beloved stories from their youths–just
because they can’t think of an original idea of their own, like I did
with my Avengers idea that I made up myself.

Obviously I have strong, mixed emotions about something like this. My
first reaction upon hearing who was writing it was, “Whit Stillman AND
Wes Anderson?  This is gonna be the most sardonically adorable movie
EVER.”  Apparently I was misinformed. Then I thought, “I’ll make a
mint!  This is worth more than all my Toy Story residuals combined!”
Apparently I am seldom informed of anything. And possibly a little slow.
But seriously, are vampires even popular any more?

I always hoped that Buffy would live on even after my death.  But,
you know, AFTER.  I don’t love the idea of my creation in other hands,
but I’m also well aware that many more hands than mine went into making
that show what it was. And there is no legal grounds for doing anything
other than sighing audibly. I can’t wish people who are passionate about
my little myth ill. I can, however, take this time to announce that I’m
making a Batman movie.  Because there’s a franchise that truly needs
updating. So look for The Dark Knight Rises Way Earlier Than That Other
One And Also More Cheaply And In Toronto, rebooting into a theater near
you.

Leave me to my pain!  Sincerely, Joss Whedon.

Nicely done, sir.