What We’re Thankful For: And the Winners Are…

In reading the entries for this weekend’s contest, I discovered something else I’m thankful for. I’m thankful that somehow, Topless Robot has become a site that can run a contest like this and have: people give legitimate thanks for significant others, parents and children; people give thanks and finding a silver lining even despite some pretty shitty situations; and many, many people giving thanks for breasts — all in the same place, and no one gives anybody any grief.


I genuinely love this. Nerds can be bitter, short-sighted people — myself most of all — and we can go to ridiculous lengths in our defense or attack of certain things and opinions. But the fact that TR can be a place where we give each other shit 98% of the time and still, all at once, unanimously be cool with each other, whether we’re being genuine or ridiculous, is totally fucking awesome.

So thank you. Really. The HMs and winners are after the jump. Then we’ll return to me making fun of that shitty series you love.

Look. So many people gave thanks for genuine things and people and so forth. I feel like to include one I’d need to include them all, and then I’d just be reprinting the entire contest. So rather than call these HMs, I’ve decide to post what I’m dubbing “the funny ones” (and maybe a few that sucked up in a very classy way). They’re no more honorable than the hundreds of entries I left out, but they might get a chuckle out of you this morning.

Nate the Grate said:

I’m thankful I wasn’t on Alderaan.

InterwebHero said:

That my best friend who’s a complete jock absolutely loves the Walking Dead show and just read the 1st volume, and is looking for more comics. It’s nice to see someone expand their boundaries like that, and I’m thankful that shows like the Waking Dead exist.

mythbri said:

I’m thankful for the following:
? The episode of Mythbusters in which they blow up the cement truck with black powder. That is the most glorious explosion I’ve ever seen, and it makes me laugh like a child every time I see it. BOOM! No more truck.
? The way Nathan Fillion fills out every inch of his wonderful brown coat in “Firefly”. Damn, it looks good on him.
? Topless Robot, because there’s nothing more satisfying than either finding someone who agrees with you about something incredibly nerdy, or finding someone that disagrees with you but for an equally nerdy reason.

tasakeru828 said:

I’m thankful for Joss Whedon, both for being one of the most talented and intelligent people in American entertainment, and for the wealth of shameless cock-sucking jokes that have flowered on this site because of him.

DJRM replied to tasakeru828:

I think we all are.

Nostromo’s Second Android said:

I’m thankful to live in a society where a 25 year old man can buy DC action figures in public, and no one lifts an eyebrow.

Jimbo said:

I am thankful for finding this web site. I was surfing the web about a year ago. I saw someone else talk about it. I came here. I have never left.
And you have to be good if I can get my mom to goto a website called TOPLESS ROBOT!
Happy Thanksgiving Everyone!

dWhisper said:

I am thankful for Hollywood, because without it, we nerds would live lives devoid of an entity that gives us so much to love, hate, and bitch about. And Odin knows, we nerds/geeks/whatnot looooove our bitching.

Fabi said:

I’m thankful for getting a massive cold that prevented me from seeing Bayformers in cinema.

ExecutorElassus said:

I’m thankful for all of you. Because I live in a foreign country, where the concept of a nerd doesn’t resonate so well. And then I come here and read people crying about robot cartoons, and Ronald McDonald and the Colonel beating the shit out of a bunch of anime characters, and Barney sodomizing Blue, and the non-stop nerdgasms over TRON and/or Firefly, and on and on.
And I’m home.

StrawHat said:

I have been in an abusive relationship for four years, and I am thankful that it is finally over. I kept praying things would get better, but Tim Kring can’t hurt me anymore.

Scanty and Kneesocks said:

I am thankful that I am not Ash.
Or Nurse Joy’s cervix.

Ratbatman said:

I’m thankful for the reduced focus on the “pedophile” angle of Sergeant Hatred’s characterization in Season 4.2 of the Venture Bros.

Adorkable said:

I’m thankful for Mrs. Robot, because as much shit Rob has to put up with, especially booze-filled Friday nights, someone has got to rally his spirits and get him back in the game. Behind every awesome man is an epic woman.

LJSLarsson said:

I’m grateful for my parents not being gunned down when I was a kid, giving me a traumatic childhood and turning me into a crimefighter like Batman.
What am I saying? Being like Batman would have been awesome!

intothenight said:

I’m thankful for Yiffstar. I find it an honor to be banned from my first website without ever visiting it. OK, so I haven’t received official notice that I was banned, but a certain popular author there told me I would be, and he is what they call the best of the best, so I’m sure it’s just a matter of time.

pumpkinguts said:

I’m thankful that I won a Tshirt already so I can just type gibberish hhjklhfkhdgflk gakl gf gklhagfl kagf hk gfklhgblakfg bklhfuiui

Peter Parker said:

I’m thankful for my loving girlfriend, Gwen Stacey, whom I could not live without.

Norman Osborn replied to Peter Parker:

*grinning manically* Me neither.

AfterGlow said:

I am thankful that Rob runs these competitions every week, giving us nerds an opportunity to share anecdotes and ideas, that he actually has the patience to sit down and read each and every entry, and that he gives us a chance to win T-shirts, as well as getting honorable mentions.

YES. Thank you, AfterGlow. Your perfect mix of sucking up and appreciation for the genuinely difficult, time-consuming task of judging these contests, week after week, has been noted and will likely serve you well in future contests.

Now for the winners. Now, I did say I thought I might pick the winners randomly, but I also reserved the right to change my mind. Which is good, because as I mentioned in the intro, there were a few people who managed to touch my blackened and shriveled heart with their entries. Some of them had shirts already, so these are the folks who I think deserve one:

technobot said:

I’m thankful for my parents, who let me move back in with them after ditching my bigamist douchebag of an ex-husband. Because now I am able to live happily with my cat, my huge collection of toy robots, and my desk full of ham radio equipment, and watch the Military Channel all night.

Lily412 said:

I’m grateful for all the series of Star Trek: not just because I enjoy the stories, the characters, and the themes within them, but because they brought me close to my dad when we had such a short time together. I was seventeen when he died, but before that, I was an angsty teenager who wanted to do anything other than talk to her relatives. But every night I’d stay up late with my dad and watch reruns of Star Trek that were syndicated. If we hadn’t done that together, we never would have had interesting conversations about intelligent life on other planets, the implications of space travel, or other such nerdy topics. He would have died without me knowing him as a neat guy…and a friend. I’d say it would have been a lot to miss out on.

just a lurker said:

I’m grateful that I now have a decent gaming computer. That sounds really uninspired, but I have a damn good (though slightly long, sorry) reason why. When I was born the universe decided to fuck me over and give me only one opposable thumb. Playing 90% or so of the console games that don’t suck? Fucking impossible. I think I mourned for a week when Dead Rising came out, I wanted to play it so bad. God damn it’s hard to feel like a real nerd when you can’t even get past the prologue of Twilight Princess (true story) or gather ’round the Xbox with your friends fragging each other in some fps game. It doesn’t help that I’m a chick and it kind of reinforced the whole “girls can’t play video games derp” thing and kinda fucked up my self esteem, I mean what kind of loser fails even at being a nerd? For the longest time, my computer was a practically ancient mac with one whole gig of ram, so I was completely screwed over gaming-wise. Now that I finally have a decent computer, I can play some damn good games (can’t wait till I have enough money to get Fallout New Vegas, woo) and feel at least somewhat like a real nerd, and that’s what I’m thankful for.

ksa otaku said:

I Know when ever I enter a contest I mention the fact I’m from Saudi Arabia and the fact that it’s pretty hard to be a comics/manga/anime fan here(a legal fan anyway). so the thing I’m most thankful for is the existence of Dubai. for being a close neighbor and feeding my comics habit.
And I’m thankful my 5 (yes, 5) boxes of manga and comics weren’t seen by customs officials.
And finally, I’m thankful for my mother accidentally spilling her perfume on volume one of the nausicaa manga. It still smells wonderful one year later. now I can enjoy my favorite manga ever while remembering my mom long after she’s gone. and now’s my most treasured nerd possession and I’m so very thankful.

I hope you guys agree with me deserve recognition and maybe a t-shirt with a robot shooting her tits for their amazing positive attitudes (and again, there were several other deserving entries, but those people had previously won shirts). If any of you are bummed about me not choosing the winners randomly, I swear I’ll make it up to you guys soon. I just caught up in the whole “good will towards nerds” vibe of the contest. Thanks to everyone for entering, and again, for being so goddamn awesome.