Fan Fiction Friday: Captain America in “Inga Breaks Captain America”

?Yesterday was my birthday. I don’t bring this up to pathetically fish for birthday wishes (I already did that on Twitter, yesterday). I bring it up because I seriously thought about not running an FFF as a belated present to myself. Obviously, I chose to do one anyway, and you know why? Because of you little scamps. Sigh. It also helped that Mitch H. found this story from lilguy, starring Captain America and a shitty Ilsa She-Wolf of the SS clone named Inga. Admittedly, lilguy may just think Ilsa is called Inga; it would hardly be the biggest error in the epic story, which I believe will end up as an FFF classic.

Inga stands 6.5 feet tall and was solid muscles. She was amazingly
beautiful. She was true goddess. Her breast were huge and at cartoon
proportions. They are like two gigantic beach balls. There was nice sexy
curves to her body. Her hair is blond and her eyes are blue. He body is
very tone. She superhumanly strong and durable. Her power is only match
by her depravity. She enjoy crushing men with her sexual skills. She
brings them over the edge till and make them beg her to stop. She love
violence and very sadistic. She was German and her army of women slowly
was taking over.

God help me, I kind of admire the author describing Inga’s tits as two cartoon beach balls. It’s kind of refreshing in its honesty. But unfortunately, it’s all downhill from here.

Inga Held one of Nazi guard in her arm. It was a fellow Amazon Helga.
She was not strong as Inga but she was beautiful and stronger then most
men. Helga red hair seem frazzled. The women had been making love for
hours after Inga victory over the army. She had destroyed Captain
American army singled handedly with her bare hands. The pussy juice had
soaked the bed and dripped down creating a puddle of cum on the floor.
Helga pussy was dripping wet with cum. Inga dipped her fingers into what
felt like a bowl of sweet juice.

?a bowl of sweet juice.
a bowl of sweet juice.
a bowl of sweet juice.
a bowl of sweet juice.
Never, ever, EVER has a vagina been described by someone who knew less about vaginas. The author clearly has not seen one, touched one, or even heard second-hand about how one works.

“That Vas wonderful Inga.” She said.

“You vorn sor bad yourself little crumpet.” Inga said.

Vorn? Sor? Crumpet? The hell? Is she going to dip a crumpet into the bowl of sweet juice?

She stood up. She was amazing. Her body dripped with sweat and her
muscles flexed with energy. It been said Inga could make a man cum by
just a look. Just a shake of her butt could break a man. Helga seen it
first hand. She oozed sex and power.

That’s what happens when you keep your sweet vagina juice in a bowl and not a lidded container, I suppose.

Just looking at her expired men to
get down on their knees in fear from her power. It cause more to profess
their love for her.

Well, if they’re expired, what do they have to lose, really?

Helga had learned from Inga. Every woman in her arm
became powerful. The became unstoppable and beautiful. They were
goddesses. Her voice was just hypnotic.

“Enough Foreplay..time to interrogate zee American.” Inga said.

“Very Vell my Mistress,” Helga said,

Helga walked over several passed out female guards. They all had big
smiles on their face from intense sex Inga gave them. Helga was one of
the few guards that could even some what keep up with Inga.

“I must use zee ladies Voom first.” Helga said.

?This Head Asplode pic is brought to you by 1) the insane idea that Germans somehow pronounce Rs as Vs and 2) this was used to create the phrase “Ladies Voom.”

She lifted up the toilet lid. A man head was in it. His body hung from
under the floor. Girls would constantly play with his cock from the
bottom floor draining him and violating his ass. His head was stuck into
the toilet. He used to be a general before he was foolish enough to
face Inga. Helga finished and got dress in her uniform.

I’d make some kind of riff about this, but I honestly cannot for the life of me figure out how this works. Whatever I imagine, it seems unnecessarily complicated if you just want to piss on a dude’s face.

Inga wore boots and gloves. She wore nothing else. They walked down the
hall way. The saw one of her guard beating up the Bronze Tiger. He was a
hero who had skin of steal.

That sounds racist.

They were no match for her guard. The
guards that was beating him name was Lisa. She was a perky blond girl
with pig tail and 18 years old. She stood 5.6 and looked like a school
girl. She was called the snake tamer because she could handle gigantic
cocks with ease. She had Bronze Tiger broken. She was naked and drench
head to toe with cum. Bronze Tiger laid their bruised and beaten. His
face was very bruised.

“Please no more. No more.” He begged.

“Having Vun” Inga asked.

Yes, Germans apparently also pronounce Fs as Vs. That’s why Germans pronounce their city as “Vrankvurt.”

“Yes Mistress. I love these Americans. They are so easy to break.” Lisa said in squeaky voice.

“Make Sure the Slave veen up his mess.” Helga laughed.

Oh, for fuck’s sake. I mean, vor vuck’s sake.

They walked on passed interrogation rooms. Men and women were screaming.
Inga walked into the room with Captain America. He stood their
completely naked. His muscles were flexed and his arms and legs
stretched and tied. His cock was erect from the sight of the women. He
hated himself for that. His body was still bruised from his battle with
Inga.

“Vook at me” She said.

“I would happily vook at you if I knew even slightly what the fuck a vook is.”

He looked. Inga snapped her finger. Helga grabbed him by the hair and lifted his head up.

“Do vas she tells you pig.” Helga said.

And now we’re just adding Vs in front of random vowel sounds. Awesome.

Captain America gasp as she saw her. He was staring at a goddess. She
smelt of sex. The pussy smell was heavy let intoxicating. He could smell
her from a miles away. Girl juice covered her breast and made it
glisten.

I always try to start my day with a big glass of girl juice. I prefer mine fresh-squeezed, of course. And, uh… no pulp.

They were huge and looked even bigger under the flicker light.
Her body glisten enough where it seem like a glow.

“You vike mine body little America…vue want to touch it.” She said.

She squeeze her big nipples and started to slowly sucked them with her
juicy red lips. Her nipples were erect at least 3 inches. They were
huge.

Yes they were, apparently. She’s going to poke Cap’s eyes out with those things.

 She sucked them dripping salvia down it. Her body moved and bounce
like the greatest dancer ever. She was so deprave Captain America
thought but he never saw anything so sexy. She put her finger deep in
her cunt. Her pussy juices were dripping down with big gobs of cum. She
sucked her finger clean taking globs of cum. Helga looked in pride. She
flex her biceps moving them up and down.

I just want to point out that this is one of the least sexy that-are-genuinely-apparently-trying-to-be-sexy paragraphs in the history of FFFs. And it’s not because it’s depraved, it’s because it’s just so incorrect..

“Voo you want me,” She said

He said nothing.

Because he doesn’t understand what the vuck you’re saying, you vidiot.

She walked up to him so her breast was in his face. This time she spoke slowly.

“Do you vant me” She said again

“I…”

She whispered in his ear

“Do vue want me vittle man.”

?“Vittle man” seemed vorthy of a Voht, I vhought.

“Yes…yes I do.” He cried

“Vell me everything…vue vill be my dog.” She said

“Never” He said.

Make up your mind, Cap. Jeez.

He muster what was left of his courage

The two women laughed.

“Vee vor hoping you say vat.”

VAAAARRRRRGGGGHHHH

She took his cock in her hands. She stroked it up and down. Her hands
were turning his cock into butter.

INCORRECT.

Her rubbed the cock head knowing ever
pressure point.

Yes, all the pressure points in the penis. Jesus christ. Question: if this guy has zero idea about vaginas and penises… what the hell? Shouldn’t he have the faintest clue about one of them, just from being male or female? Is he a eunuch? A head in a jar? Some kind of androgynous alien from another weird who cannot comprehend human sexual organs, but feel compelled to write about them anyways?

Captain America gritted his teeth. He tried not to give
this nazi bitch the satisfaction of making him cum. She started him in
the eye. He wanted to wipe that smug smile off her face.

Then he should cum in her eye. I mean, that’s the obvious solution, right?

“Vook isn’t that cute..American trying to hold it.” Inga laughed

“Pathetic.” Helga laughed,

“With vine hand I can crush steal vittle man…you be surprise what a
body vart vill doe if you add strength to certain Area of zee body,” She
said,

Well, I guess Steal Vittle Man should watch out then.

She was playing his cock like a flute.

She was blowing into the hole?

She was hitting the right spot.
She put her fist around his erect cock and squeeze. His screamed with an
intense multiple orgasm.

“This is Called zee SQUEEZING SPONGE…look at vor nasty cum. Tears running down Vor little flace like a deflowerd girl,”

If I’m ever captured, II hope I’m captured by women who believe handjobs are torture.

He can’t stop cumming and cumming. Inga knew she could make a man cum
forever. To her a cock was like a heart.

?

It can shoot truckloads of cum
if it pumped right.

Just like a heart can shoot truckloads of cum if WHAT THE FUCK IS WRONG WITH YOU AND YOUR IGNORANCE OF THE HUMAN BODY

He begged her to stop losing all control. Orgasims
hit every part of his body.

“Look he crying Inga..vike zittle girl. Nick Furty voot up a better fight then him,” Helga laughed.

“Vook how easy you are to break..vit vine bare hands…you like the smell of Helga pussy on my lips. Here have vay taste vitch,”

She kissed him. Her tongue went deep in his mouth. His toes curled due
to the instense kissed. His breath went away and he fainted in her arms.
She slapped him awake and kissed him again stroking his cock and making
him spasms,

“Please I tell you everything…all our plans..please stop.” He cried,

“YES, I’LL TELL YOU EVERYTHING, PLEASE JUST STOP GIVING ME A HANDJOB.”

He felt so broken. He was betraying his country but right now he would
do anything to worship Inga and do anything to get her to stop.

“Vue America..don’t know about zee power of sex..your puny puritan
ideals..and you veak puny women stick women make you Veek..soon all the
women will dominate the men..they vill become the master of the men. Zee
women was of course Vee under me and vine top women for power rules zee
earth but they vill be more powerful zen they ever been under the puny
American rule.” Inga said,

She licked her finger clean and force sticky fingers in her mouth.

“Call Zis the Stank Sword of Doom.” She said,

Huh? Did this switch over to an Invader Zim fan fic when I wasn’t paying attention?

She put her finger together and shove it deep into his ass like a sword.

Dear lilguy: Please do a Google Image Search for “sword.” then do an Image Search for “finger.” Compare the two. And then think about what you just wrote down.

It hit his prostate pressure pointing sending an intense orgasm through
his body. She kept fucking him like that putting part of her arm in as
she stroked him. She did this with her hands for a half and hour. He
couldn’t even speak anymore.

After “half and hour,” I can’t even speak anymore.

Inga Calmly turn around took him inside her thick ass. Her muscle
massage his cock pumping him for sweet jazzed. She loved the power. It
made her so wet she could fit her fist up her cunt with ease. She fucked
herself to an intense multiple orgasm. She continue milking him as she
brought herself to intense pleasure. She licked her sticky fist clean.
Her ass bruised his cock. Helga loved the site and quickly pulled her
pants down. The two amazons rubbed their pussies against each other
bring each other to orgasm.

Of all the stupidity in the above paragraph, all I can think about is her getting Cap’s cock in her butt while he’s immobile. Assholes aren’t really built to accept objects, why is why you never sit down naked and suddenly realize your remote control is in your anus — you have to consciously put it there. There would have to be something incredibly wrong with Inga’s anus to be able to close it around Captain America’s penis without anyone positioning anything or holding anything still. I don’t know what image scares me more — the idea of her being able to open her anus that wide, or being able to close it again at will.

Hour later she was done.

She wasn’t done let punishing him. She grabbed an American flag on a table. She chuck it to him.

“Jerk off vith it.” She said.

He was shocked at what she asked.

“DO VIT.” He wiped his tears.

?

He started jacking off with the American flag. Tears ran down his eyes.
It was the ultimate humiliation. The women laughed as he ejaculated. She
slapped him. He was knocked out and totally broken.

The end. Seriously, erotic fan fic writers, PLEASE WATCH SOME PORN. LEARN HOW SEX WORKS BEFORE YOU WRITE. I don’t ask a lot, but I am asking this. The porn is out there. It’s free. You need to see a litte before you write this shit, okay?  Handymen don’t build chairs and boats and shit without know how their tools work first, right? Well, neither should you, ESPECIALLY IF ONE OF THOSE TOOLS IS YOUR OWN GENITALIA.