Well, Transformers 3 Looks Pretty @#$%ing Dumb

I’m sure this is no great surprise to you, but it’s actually a bit of a relief to me. See, a lot of you first came to Topless Robot when my Transformers 2 FAQ got passed around, and I know expectation will be high for my inevitable TF3 FAQ — plus, if I do a good job with it, it could substantially increase TR‘s readership. In all honesty, I have a lot riding on Transformers 3 and I was genuinely worried that… well, not that it would be good, but that it would be okay and hard to make fun of.

Obviously, I shouldn’t have worried. The new trailer already makes zero sense — why are Decepticons taking over Earth? Why would they want to? What could they possibly gain? Where is Megatron, anyways? What the fuck are the giant flying bug robots? What are they “disguised” as? Do they even transform? Has Michael Bay even noticed that not a single scene set on the moon in his film titled Dark of the Moon takes place on the dark side? — so I think I can set my worried mind at ease.