In order to celebrate the all-new, more sensible, less deadly Spider-Man: Turn Off the Dark musical, Bono, the Edge and guys who plays Peter Parker/Spidey Reeve Carney went on American Idol and performed “Rise Above.” Maybe I’m just in a forgiving mood this morning, but honestly, I can’t work up any hate. I mean, “Rise Above” is a normal U2 song, whose only crime is that it appears to have nothing to do with Spider-Man. And I genuinely feel sorry for Reeve Carney now. Here’s this actor-singer who gets picked out of nowhere to be a star in what sounds like the most amazing musical of all time, and then he gets there, no only does he realizes it’s terrible, but he has to watch his fellow stage-mates have their skulls crushes for a year. He also had to deal with Julie Taymor’s megalomania and Bono and the Edge’s douchiness, and all he can do is keep playing along and hope that he still has a career afterwards. Look at his eyes, people. Those are the eyes of a man who does not want to spend another night with backing up Bono and the Edge, but has to if he ever wants to have a job in entertainment ever again.
Also, Jennifer Lopez, really? A dude drops out of the sky in front of you and you can’t even give him a quick peck? Even Steven Tyler would’ve ponied up more than that, if only in hopes of getting in the pants of some of the 18-year-old girls in the audience, later. Thanks to Andre for the tip.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.