This Is Why Even Ghost Rider Needs to Wear Condoms

Do you experience a burning sensation when you urinate? Ghost Rider does. It seems like Marvel’s spirit of vengeance forgot to use protection when he put his little spirit of vengeance in some loose woman’s ladyparts, and now it feels like hellfire is coming out of his urethra whenever he pees. Don’t be like Ghost Rider, kids — use protection.

Seriously, this trailer for the second, totally unnecessary Ghost Rider movie looks surprisingly fun up until that scene at the very end. I was totally down with it, with Nic Cage using his chain to flip cars, his skull vomiting fire, that awesome camera shot off the cliff… and then Ghost Rider has to piss all over it, both metaphorically and literally. Sigh. Still, three or four awesome scenes and one obnoxiously awful scene would still put it significantly ahead of the phenomenally mediocre first film, so maybe it’ll end up okay. Someone get this damn movie a shot of penicillin and let’s move on.