Do you experience a burning sensation when you urinate? Ghost Rider does. It seems like Marvel’s spirit of vengeance forgot to use protection when he put his little spirit of vengeance in some loose woman’s ladyparts, and now it feels like hellfire is coming out of his urethra whenever he pees. Don’t be like Ghost Rider, kids — use protection.
Seriously, this trailer for the second, totally unnecessary Ghost Rider movie looks surprisingly fun up until that scene at the very end. I was totally down with it, with Nic Cage using his chain to flip cars, his skull vomiting fire, that awesome camera shot off the cliff… and then Ghost Rider has to piss all over it, both metaphorically and literally. Sigh. Still, three or four awesome scenes and one obnoxiously awful scene would still put it significantly ahead of the phenomenally mediocre first film, so maybe it’ll end up okay. Someone get this damn movie a shot of penicillin and let’s move on.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.