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Fan Fiction Friday: Janine Melnitz from Ghostbusters in “Hot Night in NYC”


JanineMelnitz.jpg

?Please note this story from Arseni, despite starring the character of Janine, was put in the “Ghostbusters” (Filmation)” section of AdultFanFiction.net. Now, I’m guessing Arseni means the animated Real Ghostbusters, not the Filmation Ghostbusters cartoon, because that starred a monkey and not cartoon version of Annie Potts, but whatever. This is not hardly this story’s biggest problem.

It was a hot night in NYC, steamy and humid.  It was one of those
nights when your clothing would stick to you and your hair clung to your
forehead.  If you were male, you pit stains and a sweat-drenched ass to
worry about.  Women, having more sense in the area of dressing for the
weather, worried less about those than they had to about their tops
showing their erect nipples.

I can’t even begin to parse how many weird, wrong and outright stupid things are in this paragraph, so let’s just hit the jump, shall we?

Janine knew hers were showing.  Every glance thrown at them by men
she was passing reminded her, and each brought a wicked grin to her
face.  Not that she wanted them to look, she certainly wasn’t about to
complain about the attention.  Every time a lust-minded dude locked eyes
on the diamonds that now tipped her ample breasts made her increasingly
horny.  By the time she had made it to Central Park, she could feel the
pussy juice dripping down her leg.

Uh-oh, we got another leaky vagina here. Somewhere, in the world made up entirely of bad erotic fan fiction, someone is making a fortune off vagina flood insurance.

She needed a good fucking, and now.

She needs a good diaper if her vaginal fluids are dripping down her leg while she’s walking down the street.

Janine was thoroughly enjoying the ogling, and would have
happily screwed any one of them in a back alley right now.  There was
just one problem.

Janine was a lesbian.

Well, that’s a pretty big problem, actually. Not really a problem for Janine, though, but just the story — why is Janine so turned on by men staring at her nipples? More importantly, why would Janine happily fuck any of these guys in a filthy alley if she prefers women? I assume Janine is one of those peculiar lesbians who really want to be fucked by guys, found primarily in erotic fan fiction, pornography and second-hand accounts of frat parties. Or, as I like to call them, Bad Lesbians.

She had left the firehouse just for a walk.  The idea of a
quick fuck had crossed her mind and disappeared just as quickly.  But
now her pussy was aching, and she wouldn’t be able to hold off much
longer.

Why didn’t she just masturbate in the bathroom or storage closet like everyone else in America’s work force?

Quite unintentionally, she found a group of prostitutes by a
park gate.  They showed leg and cleavage equally, displaying their
wares and awaiting the profit to come. 

Even though they were
prostitutes, Janine was hesitant to approach one of them.  They were
expected to dress slutty, but Janine still had standards.

Oh, fuck you, author. “Hmm, professional sex workers, eh? How uncouth! I guess I’ll just take a random guy and fuck him in some trash-strewn back alley next to a bum stinking of piss — after all, that’s the classy thing to do!”

Suddenly, she found her.  The girl was an angel, blond and
fair.  Her enormous eyes were an icy blue, piercing and seductive.  Her
breasts weren’t small, but also not overly huge, approximately a C.  Her
mouth was topped by a pair of the most delicious lips Janine had ever
seen in her life. 

Delicious-looking. You have to taste something for it to be delicious.

Every word she heard this woman speak, it seemed
utterly filthy and suggestive, making Janine even wetter as a result.

Seriously, Janine, see a doctor. Something is wrong with your vagina.

Janine made up her mind and approached her.  “Hi there,” she said in her proud Brooklyn accent.

“Hey, sweetheart,” replied the angel.  Her voice was almost an orgasm in itself.  “What can I do for you?”

“That depends,” Janine said, trying to sound indifferent.  “What do you do?”

“Whatever you want, baby. ”  She winked as she said this. 
She saw the potential client about to speak again and stopped her,
running her hand up this woman’s leg and to her crotch.

Janine’s eyes widened as she felt the hooker began to
slowly rub between her legs.  Stammering, “What do you charge?”.

The hooker smiled at her client’s reaction and increased
her rhythm ever so slightly.  “$50 for a hand-job, $100 for oral, $200
for the full show; anal’s $50 extra. ” 

I wondered if the prostitute was blind for a second, and then I realized she’s got her hand up Janine’s hoo-hah at the moment, and should clearly feel her lack of a penis. So why the hell is she giving Janine her “normal menu”? Maybe the author could be legitimately mistaken that a “handjob” can also refer to a fingerblasting — although I’ve never heard of anyone making that mistake — but “full show” and “anal” is clearly referring to vaginal and anal sex, which Janine cannot possibly be asking for. Unless she has a strap-on. And is wearing it outside her clothes for the prostitute to see. Even then, I’d think if she wasn’t getting fucked with a real dick, the whore would provide at least a little bit of a discount.

She began to finger this woman
through her panties as she watched the woman struggle to process the
pricing.  She could tell that the woman was about to come right then and
there, which, surprisingly, made herself horny.  “What do you say,
baby?”

Janine came. Hard.

And then she left, because she’d gottern her orgasm for free. The End.

It was by sheer miracle that she was able to be quiet
enough not to draw attention to herself.  She felt a shower of pussy
juice trickle down her leg and prayed it would stain the concrete.  Once
she had come down from her high, she simply said, “Let’s go. “

Goddammit.

They went to the Sedgewick hotel and checked into a suite. 
Much to Janine’s surprise, the girl had footed the bill for the room. 
Evidently, she was high-end and could afford such prices. 

Evidently she’s the dumbest prostitute ever.

Her surprise
grew even more when this woman requested that room service bring up a
bottle of champagne. 

Later that week: “Man, I’ve had sex with 30 people for money this week, and I’m still down $1200! How does this keep happening?!” –World’s Least Fiscally Responsible Prostitute

Once everything had been arranged, they boarded
the elevator and ascended.

The room was on the 12th floor.  Fleetingly, the
memory of the boys telling her how they had first captured Slimer here
passed through her mind, bringing a quick smile to her face.  Once they
found the room they opened the door, and Janine’s breath disappeared.

Everything was a subdued sand color, trimmed in gold.  The
closet alone was at least twice the space that Janine’s work area
occupied.  The lone bed was immense, easily a King, if not larger(Was
that even possible?).  The bathroom had a Jacuzzi tub, as well as a
separate shower.  All in all, everything was positively immaculate.

Most normal hotel rooms in New York City cost $200. A nice fancy hotel like the one from Ghostbusters would probably run $4-500. But a deluxe suite like this, with a jacuzzi inside, would run a minimum of $2000. Now, let’s say that Janine will decide to pay for vaginal intercourse with the prostitute — which, I might remind you, is pretty fucking unlikely. That leaves the prostitute with a net profit of -$1800.

Worst. Prostitute. Ever.

All Janine could say was, “Wow. “

Janine heard her “date” for the night answer the door; the
champagne, obviously but she took little notice of it.  She was still in
her reverie when she heard her date walk up behind.  As the woman
wrapped her arms around Janine’s waist, Janine froze momentarily, but
relaxed as the woman began to kiss and lick her neck.

“You wanna do it now?” the woman asked, nibbling her client’s ear.

“God, yes. ”  Janine, unable to hold back any longer,
suddenly turned and attacked the woman’s mouth.  The kiss was rough and
wet, spurring them both on.  Each woman ripped the other’s top off, each
exposing their partner’s massive tits.  Still horny from the park,
Janine immediately went for the girl’s rock-hard nipples.  Gasps and
pleasured moans flowed from the hooker’s mouth as Janine bit and
sucked.  Not wanting her client to be left out, she began to play with
the woman’s nipples with her hands as best she could.  The sensations
from this made Janine even hornier, making her bite and suck harder.

The angel removed her nipple from Janine’s mouth and pulled her into a hard kiss.  “You wanna go down on me, baby?”

I was about to chide the prostitute for this — although I’m sure there are plenty of guys (and girls) who enjoy providing oral sex for their partners and would hire a prostitute for same — but I’m under the impression that you normally pay prostitutes to give sexual satisfaction, not receive it. Then I thought this stupid whore is spending two grand on a hotel room, so she probably deserves a bit of cunnilingus, so whatever.

Janine had been waiting for this.  “Abso-fucking-lutely,” she said in a breathy whisper.

As her client knelt down, the hooker said, “I’m giving you
fair warning, baby.  You’re in for a surprise. ”  She turned after
speaking, so that her back was to Janine.  She imagined her client
watching her as she peeled off the her panties, trying desperately not
to tease.

Janine patience was close to gone.  “Hurry it up, sweetie.  I’m ready to have my face in that hot–Whoa!”

I don’t think the Toht is really appropriate here, but The Price of Right fail theme sure was.

The hooker stood before Janine, naked as the day she had
been born.  Her breasts looked as stunning as before, the nipples still
very much erect.  But between her legs, there was a massive, fully hard
and throbbing cock.

I’m probably thinking too hard about this — I know I am, actually — but I feel like this is another mark in the “World’s Worst Prostitute” checklist. So you’re a hermaphrodite who has sex for money, fine There are folks who want that sort of thing, but I assume there’s some kind of place or time or way for transsexuals and people who want to fuck transexuals to meet up so everyone gets what they want. But if you’re packing heat and trying to keep that hidden in order to masquerade as a normally equipped woman, perhaps you shouldn’t immediately ask your client to stick her head in your crotch, because the dick will probably get noticed. Just sayin’.

Also, Janine — as clearly stated in the text and evidenced by her hiring a female hooker — is a lesbian. The penis should be a bit of a dealbreaker, wouldn’t you think? So really, the prostitute should have mentioned it before the hotel, or at very least had the sense to keep it tucked between he legs. Because the penis was definitely going to come up… so to speak.

This is a really, really stupid prostitute, is what I’m saying.

The hooker saw her client’s reactions and her cock
immediately began to soften.  “You must think I’m a freak.  I’m sorry,”
she said glumly.  “I’ll get dressed and go.  You don’t have to pay me.” 
She picked up her clothing and had turned to go when she felt a hand on
her shoulder.

Whipping out a dick and then getting all mopey about it — yep, still World’s Worst Prostitute.

“You’re not a freak,” said Janine.  “You just startled me,
is all.” 

“Your dick poked me in the eye.”

She pulled the angel to her and her arms snaked around her
waist, mimicking what she herself had felt earlier.  “In fact, now that
the initial shock is over, I’m really fucking horny. ”  She slid a hand
down to the cock and began to stroke it.  “And now, I want you to fuck
my brains out.”

Janine Melnitz: Bad Lesbian.

Janine turned the woman around before kneeling and sliding
her mouth around the cock.  It was sizable, easily 9 inches.  Janine
moved her head up and down the length, taking in its taste, its
texture.  She felt as though she would come just from sucking this girl
off.  Her hand searched below this girl’s prick for a scrotum, but
found, instead, a dripping-wet pussy.

Seriously, lesbians, correct me if I’m wrong, but the moment you put a dick in your mouth, you’re kind of kicked out of the club, aren’t you?

This gave Janine an idea.

The cotton gin?

With hesitation, Janine took the cock into her mouth all
the way to her throat, simultaneously sliding a finger into this woman’s
pussy.  The resulting moan was only one step away from a scream. 

Coincidentally, that’s the same sound I just made, but it wasn’t in any sort of pleasure.

Janine looked up as she worked, watching the girl squeeze her tits as
she was sucked and fingered.  Without warning, as Janine performed
another deep suck, she held Janine’s head with both hands and screamed,
her pussy erupting juices all over Janine’s hand, her cock shooting a
massive load into Janine’s mouth and directly down her throat.

To recap: Janine from Ghostbusters just gave a female. hooker — a hooker who paid for New York City’s most expensive hotel room — a blowjob. Mass hysteria, cats and dogs, living together.

“Fuck!” the hooker yelled.  She felt Janine’s moan around
her cock as she swallowed her cum.  She pulled her cock out of Janine’s
mouth, and smiled.  It was evident by the look on her client’s face that
she was shocked that it was still hard.

“Holy shit,” Janine said.  “You came that much and you’re still hard as a fucking rock!”

I don’t know why, but I just imagined the Metal Gear Solid “!” noise just now.

“Damn straight,” the hooker said proudly.  “And now I want
it in your hot pussy, baby.  But first,” she said, beckoning, “Let’s go
out to the balcony.  Don’t worry; no one’s gonna see you this time of
night.”

The duo walked out into the night air.  Janine looked out
across the cityscape, both hands on the railing.  She suddenly felt her
legs being nudged apart, the tip of her partner’s dick poking against
her slit.  This small touch sent electric pleasure throughout Janine’s
entire body.  “Fuck me,” she said.  “Fuck me now, and fuck me hard.”

The angel happily obliged.  She shoved her entire length
into Janine’s eager pussy.

JANINE MELNITZ: BAD LESBIAN

The force brought forth a brief, but loud
shriek from Janine.  The angel pummeled this woman’s pussy, her hips
crashing against the client’s ass with every powerful stroke.  It soon
no longer mattered that they were outside, that even if no one could see
them they could still hear them.  All that mattered was the rocking
fucking that was happening.

Hey, I sad a sudden thought — do you think this prostitute has Walter Peck’s missing dick?

The angel grabbed both of Janine’s breasts and squeezed,
bringing even more pleasured moans from the woman.  In what seemed like
mere seconds, both women were ready to come, and both knew it.  With one
final thrust, easily the hardest, the angel plunged into Janine.  Both
screamed their release, Janine’s pussy clamping down on the angel’s
cum-spewing cock.  Both screamed and screamed again.

Reminder: “angel” in this context means “hermaphroditic prostitute.” Just making sure that’s clear.

When it was over, the angel’s cock now limp, both staggered
to the bed and collapsed.  Janine looked at her angel’s smiling face
and allowed herself, as well, to smile.

“That,” Janine said breathlessly, “was fucking amazing. “

“I may be a lesbian, but penises really are the best.”

“Hell yeah,” said the angel.  Then, affirmatively, “Ya know what?”

“What’s that?” Janine asked.

“No charge. ” 

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?

She watched as Janine could only grin like the Cheshire cat.  “Hey!  I just realized something.”

“What?”

“I’m not a lesbian at all!”

“We never opened the champagne. ”  A brief pause elapsed before both women began to laugh.

Ha ha, it’s funny because THE WORLD’S WORST PROSTITUTE AND WORLD’S WORST LESBIAN ARE SHARING THE NIGHT TOGETHER.  A toast, everyone! To good penises and paying prostitutes!