Miscellaneous, Movies

They Stick the Child Predators on Dagobah


Movies.com dug up this old, old Empire Strikes Back promo of some little kid winning a trip to see the Star Wars sequel being made and meeting Luke Skywalker. Ah, 1979, back when a man could have a picnic in a swamp with a little boy and sit really, really close to him. And if that man happened to have a long, cylindrical object hanging from his groin at all times, what of it? Seriously, I almost expected Hamill to ask this kid if he liked gladiator movies. Of course, nothing’s quite as creepy as at the end, when Chewbacca slowly moaningly admit he likes to occasionally “eat little girls.” If you’ll excuse me, I feel I need to tell an adult that I watched this.

About Author

Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.