BREAKING: Frank Miller May Be A Little Crazy


?Frank Miller made the news this week for saying something incredibly dumb. Are you surprised? Are you shocked? Do you need a minute to find the monocle that popped off your face? Yeah, me neither. I mean, I’ve The Dark Knight Strikes Again and All-Star Batman and Robin, so In knew Frank Miller was totally fucking insane many, many years ago. And yet, when Miller took time out of his busy schedule to rant about the Occupy Wall Street protests, like a mentally ill hobo suddenly given a Tumblr account, everybody got so bewildered. What Miller said was this:

The “Occupy” movement, whether displaying itself on Wall Street or in the streets of Oakland (which has, with unspeakable cowardice, embraced it) is anything but an exercise of our blessed First Amendment. “Occupy” is nothing but a pack of louts, thieves, and rapists, an unruly mob, fed by Woodstock-era nostalgia and putrid false righteousness. These clowns can do nothing but harm America.

“Occupy” is nothing short of a clumsy, poorly-expressed attempt at anarchy, to the extent that the “movement” – HAH! Some “movement”, except if the word “bowel” is attached – is anything more than an ugly fashion statement by a bunch of iPhone, iPad wielding spoiled brats who should stop getting in the way of working people and find jobs for themselves.

This is no popular uprising. This is garbage. And goodness knows they’re spewing their garbage – both politically and physically – every which way they can find.

Wake up, pond scum. America is at war against a ruthless enemy.

Maybe, between bouts of self-pity and all the other tasty tidbits of narcissism you’ve been served up in your sheltered, comfy little worlds, you’ve heard terms like al-Qaeda and Islamicism.

And this enemy of mine — not of yours, apparently – must be getting a dark chuckle, if not an outright horselaugh – out of your vain, childish, self-destructive spectacle.

Now, I don’t follow non-nerd news much, but the Occupy Wall Street movement has been in the news a lot recently, and as far as I’m aware, there’s been no significant raping or thievery despite protests taking place all over the country, certainly less than one would find in your average Frank Miller comic. I’ll allow him that they may be louts, since it’s a very subjective term, lout-ery being in the eye of the beholder. However, as for his claim that the protestors need to find jobs for themselves — well, I’m pretty sure the fact that they can’t find jobs is one of the more significant reasons they’re protesting.

But it’s the idea that Al-Qaeda is somehow thrilled with OWS that I find most baffling. How would they possible care one way or another? Even if you disagree with the (extremely vague) tenets of OWS, can anyone say how they’re actually hurting America other than mildly annoying some very rich people? I sincerely doubt terrorists care either way. Partially because it doesn’t benefit them in the least, and partially because we keep shooting them, which one would think is their more significant problems.

But no, in Frank Miller’s head, terrorists only stop from making their devious plans to attack Frank Miller — and, by extension, all of America — to laugh about the total calamity the OWS has supposedly thrown America into. That, and maybe ejaculate on the American flag or something. Sounds a bit like a Frank Miller comic, doesn’t it?