Sports Teams of Nerd-dom: And the Winners Are…

?I admit, after I posted last Friday’s TR contest, I was a little worried — I worried that the theme might be a little tough for some of you, or that too many of you would go for the obvious jokes. As usual, I underestimated the cleverness of the Topless Robot readership at my peril, because I was blown away with how clever some of the entries were. Honestly, most of the HMs and winners would make for awesome nerd t-shirts — although I should put to rest the rumort hat OtherTees was somehow fishing for free shirt ideas, since the contest idea was entirely my own, and they had no idea what it was until I posted it.

Speaking of OtherTees, much thanks to them for sponsoring this weekend’s contest; please show them a kindness by checking out the nerdy-shirt-a-day site, where they currently have the above Supernatural-themed tee on sale. But before you do that, you should probably check out this week’s Honorable Mentions and winners. It’s allowed.

We want an Honorable Mention, not a belly itcher! Belly itchers serve no purpose.

Infrafan:

? The Mega City Smiths
? The Taa Globetrotters
? The Detroit Flying Bobbys with the Leaving Bitches Cheer Squadron

Brando Lars:

1) The Kryptonian Ringers – Because seriously a sports team of Kryptonians, I mean Christ who would want to play against that….
2)The Gallifrey ClockStoppers – It Doesn’t matter how much they are down, They can always pull a victory out of the Darkness in the last couple of minutes in the game.
3 )Storm’s End Inglorious Bastards – Robert Baratheon’s Children. A fierce force and the playing field, when they are sober enough to actually play that is

Wisewillow:

The Hogwarts Ghostbusters
The Rohan Rough Riders
The Tortall Lady Terrors

TheRam:

The Gotham City Oracles – Barbara’s murderball league team

Mythbri:

? The Lancre Oggs – because our Mum said we had to.
? The Camelot Sillies – we eat ham and jam and spam a lot.

SlyDante:

The Whispering Rock Cougarsplosions. Team motto: “Let’s light a fire under this damn squirrel!” (The camper who came up with the motto had…issues.)

Arachnophobe:

The Legoland Bricklayers
The Barnett College Raiders

Travis:

Alderaan Exploders: WNBA Team

Reaperman8:

The Rivendell fighting Hobbits
The Kingslanding imps
The Gotham city innocent bystanders

Stewbacca:

? 100 Acre Wood Honey Pots (just imagine the Cheerleader Outfits)
? Arkham City Question Marks– (no one is ever leaving this game early)
? Mordor Eye Boogers — (Imagine their Offensive Line– they gotta be huge)

Ridureyu:

? The Oa Lanterns — Which is kind of a misnomer, as there are actually nine teams with that same name, all currently entangled in lawsuits over the rights to it.
? The Westeros Cadavers — Because they’re all dead before the game ends

Pumpkinguts:

Tatooine Single File RidingTuskens
M113 Sodium Stealers
Martian Milfhunters

skrag2112:

The Gizmonic Institute Fighting Torgos
The MegaKat City Turbokats
The Canterlot Rainbooms

Ford_Thundercougarfalconbird:

The Martian Space Modulators
The Kessel Runnin’ Parsecs
The Colorado Springs WOPRs

Bazzzinga:

The Juggernaut Bitches
The Miranda Reavers!
The Luthor Cakesnatchers

Richard Ahrens:

The Coast City Spectres
The Ba Sing Se Rolling Stones

LJDarten:

The Tron City Torrents
Gene Hoyle:
The Tosche Station Power Converters.

That really brings a new light to Luke’s line about “going to Tosche Station to pick up some Power Converters,” doesn’t it?
 

Someguy:

The Evil Dead Ash kickers

Rajamitsu:

The Gallifrey Super Sonics

Andrew Sofman:

1. The Kanto Rocketeers (<– They like to steal home… and your Pokemon)
2. The EFSF Side-79ers
3. The Zeon Colony Droppers

Nostromo’s Second Android:

1. The New New York Gumberculeses.
2. The___ (pen just trails off into SKYRIM)
3. The Gotham City Goddamn Batmen

VindicaSean:

Coast City Chill.
Much like the storyline the team name references, this is a soccer team no one really likes, and a vocal minority find offensively bad.

Shack:

The Mushroom Kingdom “Goddamn Blue Shells”

Gagagalvatron:

Going with all Game of Thrones, as I’m still smitten with that jersey from yesterday
1) The Riverlands Wedding Planners
2) The Braavos Debt Collectors
3) The Lannisport Kin(g)slayers

Autobot Hot Shot:

The New Port Laughing Men
The Tokyo-3 Angels

Teeks:

The Shinra Electrical Power Company Turks
The Luigi’s Mansion Second Fiddles
The River City Generic Dudes

goatman2112:

The Angel Grove Rangers was a youth soccer team that was mauled by Goldar and the putties in a terrible case of mistaken identiy

Curtis Hart:

Starfleet Nuclear Wessels
Planet IO Monkey-boys with John Bigboote as the head coach
Sark’s Null-Units

RandomChance:

The Thundera Fighting Samoflanges

Scooter Atreides:

(I have one of these for nearly every planet in the series–but I’ll just do the best 3)
1. The Caladan Vintners (a definite threat to the 81-time Padishah Cup winners: The Kaitain Royals)
2. The Giedi Prime Gladiators (Still playing despite multiple allegations of point-shaving, illegal substance use, and sexual harrassment both of and by players)
3. The Wallach IX Witches (The only team forced to play gagged)

Craig Little:

? Unseen University Curly Slippers (Better than boring old Red Sox any day)
? Iacon Fightin’ Scraplets (Formerly the Cybertron Scraplets of Gobotron)
? Pandora Blueskins

Josh Z:

Yeah, the Arrakeen Sandworms may think they’re hot shit and all, but you just wait until the Sietch Tabr Sleepers awaken all over their asses! Ironically… water polo teams. They don’t get a lot of practice.

Daniel Dean:

The Bad News Owlbears
The Brain Slug Planet Hatless Tourists
The Hyrule Single Guy With A Leaf

Gaytheism:

The Mean Green Oa Machine

Troutwine:

The Nostromo BaseHuggers

Shadout:

Chaos broke out at the first annual “Alliance Amnesty” Games as a member of the Miranda Raging Reavers brought a machete to his fencing match against the Persephone Prancing Prigs. The match was called when the unnamed Reaver started running around wearing Atherton Wing’s (captain of the Prigs) head as a hat.

Think you have the mettle to take on the Medeva Magic Missles? Roll your dice this Saturday for a shot at eternal glory! (Sponsored by Cheetos and Mountain Dew)

Come watch your Ziox Fighting Rowsdowers ZAP their opponents this weekend! They don’t just raise the roof, they raise the entire city!

Mark Wasdfasdsa:

For originality points, going for the obscure here:
? The Pandathaway City Slavers.
? The Eddore MindBlasters.
? The Ankh-Morpork Murdering Bastards.
(Ok, the last one wasn’t at all obscure, sue me)

Bruce the Hoon:

The Dreadfort Redskins

Batmankt:

The Dantooine Decoys

FolkHero:

The 8th Dimension Monkey Boys: No Matter Where We Go, There We WIN!!!

Mike Haggar:

The Metro City Mayors. I am coach, running back. centre field, right wingand tight end.

Kickpuncher:

The DC Universe Retcons – if you beat them, it turns out afterward that you forfeited the game. Probably because of Parallax.

Slugabed:

The Loompaland Vermicious Knids

Berkowitzjonah:

The Hill Valley Great Scotts
The Vulcan Vulcans (think about it. It’s only logical)

Carnivorous Bee:

1. From Green Lantern: The Mogo Socialites
2. From Pokemon Red and Blue: The Pallet Town Child Neglectors
3. and brought to you by the letter L and the number 3 The Sesame Street Puppet Punchers

deadGuthrie :

The Labyrinth Bulges

Stephen Ney:

? Bothawui Martyrs — “Many Bothans died to bring us this win”
? Viridian City Metapods — “Toughest defense in the league!”
? Latverian Victors — “Doom wins!”

Pinkevilbob:

The Pallet Town Douchebags (Because Coach Oak though it would be a great idea to let their rivals, the Viridian City Persians, name them.)

House Jentraides:

I hope Roller Derby Team names count…
1. The Iron-Town Harlots
2. The Perky Pekoponians
3. The Singular Asari

Dancore:

The Eternia Obviously Heterosexuals

Vatea42:

? The Hufflepuff Fourth Houses Intermural Team (Formerly known as the “Who the heck are we kidding, Everyone only knows us for the Sparkly Douches” but it was too hard to fit on the Jerseys)
? The Themyscira Fighting Originstories
? The Redwall Humans

JeffJefftyJeff:

The Vulcan women’s basketball team: The T’Players. Their motto: “Bringin’ T’Pain.”

TheLastStarfighter:

The Empire State All Star Destroyers.

Dancore:

The Ego, The Living Planet Himselfs

Originaldavid:

The Camelot Unladen Swallows

Louieatrest:

The Oceania (double plus good) Oceanians. Never lost. Ever.

It’s 4th and 10 and the bases are loaded! We need the winners! Also, maybe a slam dunk or something. I don’t know. Anyways, here are the winners.

Kicko:

The Hyrulian Chicken Kickers

I wish that any professional sports team would rename themselves the Chicken-Kickers. I would instantly be a fan. Especially if a mob of enraged chickens appeared after their every game to beat the shit out of them.

Clockwork_Smurf:

The Other Castle Princesses

This is so brilliant I can’t stand it. That is all.

Dr. Duckenstein:

The Hobbiton No Sox

And Dr. Duckenstein gets the award for Best Nerdy Sports Team Name Based on an Actual Sports Team Naming Tradition, which happens to be the same award as the other two winners, i.e. a coupon for a free OtherTees shirt. Still, well done!

Congrats to the winners, thanks to everyone who entered, and most of all, thanks to OtherTees for sponsoring the contest! Be sure to stop by this weekend, as the next contest will quite a doozy — maybe not quite as many prizes as the DBZ contest, but close, and probably a series more of you are interested in. Want to know what it is? You’ll learn in time…