Topless Roboteer DeanMartini directed to me to this music video based on the old Captain Power TV series, made back during the show’s tiny heyday of 1987, for a “rap” titled “Digitize.” Initially, I had a hard time believing this was real and not some kind of fan-made prank, but when I listened to it, I knew it had to be authentic. There was only one time in history when white people were foolish enough to believe they were allowed to rap like this, and it was 1986-88. Seriously, the dude “busting” these “rhymes” makes even Vanilla Ice sound like the Notorious B.I.G. I’m pretty sure forcing people to listen to this constitutes a crime against humanity… which is of course why I had to share it all with you. Enjoy!
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.