Someone’s Gonna Get Edgar Allen Poe-wned
There’s a new trailer for the movie The Raven, which stars John Cusack as Edgar Allen Poe who’s more into stopping a serial killer who murders people in ways inspired by his short stories instead of, you know, having sex with his underage cousin and drinking himself to death. I kind of want to hate this movie, but I’m actually getting kind of charmed by how balls-ily it ignores its source material. You know, I watch a lot of Japanese samurai movies, and the Japanese have no problem taking their real-life historical figures and turning them into magical heroes and/or demons who shoot lasers from their eyes and shit. I always used to wonder why American never did that, and made like a movie about George Washington as an agent of Satan, and Thomas Jefferson has to use a magic sword made by Ben Franklin to stop him. I guess The Raven is as close as we’re going to get.
Although I would seriously watch the shit out of my movie. Hollywood, call me!
About The Author
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.