The Battleship Movie Is One Letter Away from Being Accurately Named

The second trailer for Battleship came out last Friday, and since it’s a movie based on a board game, I didn’t fucking care if I waited three days to post it and neither should you. Clearly, it’s a movie where director Peter Berg is trying to out-Bay Michael Bay, which is a game where we all lose. The sad thing is that it looks like it could be a dumb, fun action movie — assuming Berg doesn’t include pot-addled moms or humping dogs into the mix, or whatever their naval equivalent is — except that it’s based on a goddamn board game, which makes it feel even dumber than it is already. Seriously, if it had been called War at Sea or something generic, I probably would see it which only minor shame. But to see a movie based on this?

Nope. Can’t do it. Because I know at some point in this film, someone will actually yell “YOU SANK MY BATTLESHIP!” to a goddamn alien and I refuse to willingly allow myself to subject myself to that.