Battleship wasn’t the only Bayformers-related video shown during the Super Bowl; Universal Studios Hollywood aired this commercial for its Transformers: The Ride 3-D… uh… ride, which intimates the only way you can defeat Megatron and the Decepticons is by paying $77 and sitting in a small theater with moving seats for a while (in other news: It costs $77 to get into Universal Studios Hollywood? Not counting parking? Holy shit, that’s obscene). Ignoring the question of why Megatron is still alive at all (he was dead at the end of two of the three TF movies, after all), and why Optimus decided to make his call while Megatron was less than 10 feet away from him, I just want to say how lucky everyone at Universal is that I missed this commercial. If I’d seen Bayformers Optimus Prime appear to interrupt a NY Giants Super Bowl, I would have immediately had a brain embolism, run out of my apartment, and gone on a Universal Studios Hollywood executive killing spree before even considering it might have been a gimmick-y commercial.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.