I don’t generally cover movie posters — they’re hardly indicative of how good or bad a movie will end up — but I’m still so baffled to be looking forward to the G.I. Joe movie sequel that it still seems newsworthy when I see something for Retaliation that delights me. Like these movie posters. HOLY SHIT THAT ACTUALLY LOOKS LIKE G.I. JOE TO ME. I CAN LOOK AT THESE POSTERS, AND IF THERE WAS NO TEXT ON THEM, I WOULD STILL BE ABLE TO RECOGNIZE THEM AS PROMOTING A G.I. JOE MOVIE. This is not something I could do for Rise of Cobra. And look at this!
HOLY SHIT COBRA COMMANDER LOOKS BADASS. HE DOESN’T LOOK LIKE A CRUNCHBERRY IN A GAS MASK. HE LOOKS LIKE COBRA COMMANDER. ARRRRGGGHH. In short, I am pleased. there are actually four other movie posters — one of Bruce Willis as Joe Colton, which is just Bruce Willis in a suit carrying a gun, like every Bruce Willis movie poster; Jinx, who admittedly doesn’t look as G.I. Joe as these guys; Storm Shadow, who is shirtless, and thus doesn’t look particularly G.I. Joe either; and finally Channing Tatum, who is terrible and I hate. But still, that means 50% of the movie posters look like G.I. Joe! That’s significant forward progress, people!