Please note there aren’t enough words in the English language to truly convey how fucked up this thing, and its video, are. It will change your world view. It will change your life, and not in a good way. Unless you’ve been patiently waiting for some kind of technological ass that could show human emotion, in which case I hate and fear you. The only silver lining is that now we know when the robots rise against us, we’ll be able to spank them and feel their robo-buttocks tense. Admittedly, that would be more of a relief if I wasn’t planning to drink myself to death in the next two hours, but it’s kind of all I’ve got. No thanks to Robert C. for the tip, as I will spend my last few hours cursing his name.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.