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E3 Trifecta 1: Star Wars 1313, Assassin’s Creed 3, PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale

E3 Trifecta 1: Star Wars 1313, Assassin’s Creed 3, PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale

By June 5, 2012 Video Games 0 Comment


? Star Wars 1313 is a Mature-rated game about the criminal underworld (figuratively and literally) of Coruscant. It is pretty much Uncharted: Star Wars Edition, and I am 100% okay with that. It helps that the game is fucking gorgeous — seriously, this has been the first time I’ve been wowed by a game’s graphics in quite some time — and that it doesn’t star Boba Fett, as initially rumored. Thanks to Tom M. for the tip.

? Uh, I know how Ubisoft has been all like “Connor’s not going to play sides and will be killing both British and American Templar agents,” but it’s a bit difficult to believe when you see this new trailer (no gameplay) of Connor running into an armed and ready British army and basically killing every single redcoated motherfucker himself. While George Washington and a bald eagle look on approvingly. When asked for a comment, Roland Emmerich, director of The Patriot, shed a single tear and whispered “I wish I’d thought of that.”
? Nathan Drake from Uncharted and a Big Daddy from the initially PC and Xbox exclusive Bioshock will join the roster of PlayStation All-Stars Battle Royale, a.k.a. Less Super Smash Bros. I personally can’t stand Smash Bros. — my pitiful monkey brain has never figured out what the fuck is going on — and playing with the less fun Sony characters does not appeal to me. Still, I understand that plenty of folks are going to enjoy it, and that’s fine with me. I do reserve the right to change my mind if Ico ends up joining the ranks, though. Thanks to dreamer2512002 for the tip.

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Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.