Square Enix’s MMORPG Final Fantasy XIV sucked. Actually, it suckedandit was broken. Two different things. Since the game was released back in September of 2010, Square Enix has worked tirelessly on trying to make the online Final Fantasy playable/good, while crapping out shitty sequels to the horrible Final Fantasy XIII. The result of all their hard work? Final Fantasy XIV: The Realm Reborn, which Square Enix promises/hopes will not be broken and/or suck, once its released this winter. As you can tell by the video above, Square still knows how to make a cinematic, but since there’s no gameplay there’s no telling how improved, if at all, FFXIV might be. I won’t ever find out, because I’ll give FFXIII another try before I pay Square Enix a monthly fee for an online game, and I’ll only be playing FFXIII when I’m dead. And in hell. Because the devil is making me. As torture. Because Final Fantasy XIII sucks. Am I being too subtle here? (Via Kotaku)
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.