Hot on the heels of the mind-blowingly dumb clip from yesterday, here’s a TV spot for Resident Evil: Retribution which heavily implies the film’s main assets are 1) a ton of shit being thrown directly at the screen, BECAUSE 3-D and 2) Michelle Rodriguez is back! The same Michelle Rodriguez who hasn’t been in the series since the first film, four full movies ago. Am I supposed to be impressed? Was Michelle’s “Rain Ocampo” character supposed to be so fantastic that bringing her back for the new movie is supposed to be some kind of treat for me? Do the people who like the Resident Evil movies give a shit that Michelle Rodriguez is reprising her role from a decade ago? I can’t help but suspect the answer is no.
Robert Bricken is one of the original co-founders of the site formerly known as Topless Robot, and its first editor-in-chief, serving from 2008-12. He brought the site to prominence with “nerd news, humor and self-loathing” as its motto, raising it from total internet obscurity to a readership in the millions, with help from his savage “FAQ” movie reviews and Fan Fiction Fridays. Under his tenure Topless Robot was covered by Gawker, Wired, Defamer, New York magazine, ABC News, and others, and his articles have been praised by Roger Ebert, Avengers actor Clark Gregg, comedian and The Daily Show correspondent John Hodgman, the stars of Mystery Science Theater 3000 and Rifftrax, and others. He is currently the managing editor of io9.com. Despite decades as both an amateur and professional nerd, he continues to be completely unprepared for either the zombie apocalypse or the robot uprising.