Power Rangers DVD Winners (Two of Whom Need to Email Me)

We have three winners. And I only have the contact info for one of them.

As I’ve found most winners get back to me eventually, I’m just going to post their winning entries and see if they respond in the next day or so. If not, somebody else gets their prizes (winners are after the jump).

But now for the honorable mentions. The goal was to pit the Power Rangers against another pop-culture icon, say who wins and how/why.

miketen10 picked a kaiju who doesn’t get much love any more. Appropriate given how some people thought its movie was going to be Voltron:

How about Power Rangers vs. Cloverfield. Cloverfield rips Power Ranger Megazord’s head off and throws it across New York like the Statue of Liberty’s head. Then rips a arm off and beats Megazord with it. Cloverfield parasites infect and kill Power Rangers. The End.

I also liked his realistic take on radioactive breath. People don’t think enough about that:

Power Rangers vs. Gamera. Power Rangers fly in to stop Gamera from destroying Tokyo. Gamera blasts Megazord with it’s radioactive breath and damages the Megazord and the Power Rangers are exposed to a high dose of radiation and heat and are fried inside the Megazord. The End.

megazell had what I thought was the most off-the-wall choice:

I would love to see the Power Rangers take on the creature from Jeepers Creeper. It would start out campy but everything/one would get serious real quick when The Creeper takes out the Red Rangers arm and uses it to replace one of his taking the life of the Red Ranger in the process. Of course this would be the arm that has a power band in which The Creeper would now be able to use to summon Power Ranger armor and weapons. He is now a mix of what he was with touches of Ranger about. The armor and the weapons would be grotesque and hideously evil looking. Pink and Green Ranger would then be his next targets. Before he gets to chow down on them they summon their Zords and proceed to attack him…only to find that he too can summon an Zord. When he calls his what comes is a cross between Cthulhu and a Jabberwocky with hints of Red Ranger here and there. He jumps up and embeds his body organically into his Zord – we see tentacles and bones with organs shifting around…the wail that comes from this monstrosity makes all of the nearby animals run away from his general direction and towards the Rangers. As the camera pans up we see the Ranger’s Zords overshadowed by what’s about to come their way…

James.k.polk wrote his in installments just to thwart my cut-and-pasting, I think:

Ahem.

Power Rangers versus Farnsworth-embiggened Zoidberg.

Original Power Rangers, before the Green Ranger turned into a good guy. Rangers assemble their mega-zord thing and are wiping the floor with Zodberg The tables are turned when the Green Ranger plays his little flute thingie and summons the godzilla-zord which joins the battle on Zoidberg’s side.

The heroes win, when, after a standard 22-minute battle in which they are hoplessly out-clawed by team Zoidberg, they unleash their magic sword or whatever and dispatch both foes with one blow.

And I just now realized that our villain ought to transform into “Zord-Berg” just at the moment when is close to defeat. Oh well. I never said I could write screenplays, even crappy ones.

ComradeDread1 is strong with the Force (Dark Side only):

An evil Emperor dispatches his minions to conquer Earth.

As always, the Power Rangers easily defeat the armored faceless minions. They are not prepared to face the Emperor’s Lieutenant, Darth Vader.

Vader mops the floor with the kids (he’s got plenty of experience killing kids after all), forcing them to fall back and call on their MegaZord for backup. Vader, now clearly outmatched, falls back and calls on the Executor to back him up.

There is no such thing as fighting fair or overkill for an evil overlord. After North America is turned to radioactive slag, and the rest of the world quickly surrenders, Vader returns to his search for Skywalker.

KevinGarcia.com sees the flaw in Godzilla-logic:

My friend and I were actually talking about this the other day. He’s a massive Super Sentai fan and I’m a fan of Kaiju films, so we came down to this:

Power Rangers vs. Godzilla

He claimed the Power Rangers were uniquely suited to defeat any giant monster, and Godzilla has, obviously, been defeated before. I conceded both points, but there is a key factor he did not consider: Godzilla is not evil.

Like a hurricane, earthquake or Galactus, Godzilla is a force of nature and not inherently malicious. Sure, Godzilla does attack civilization, and especially Tokyo, time and again, he does not do so to cause pain, he is merely reacting to external stimuli – lashing out at a world that hurt him. As soon as his rage has subsided, or as soon as a real and truly evil threat presents itself, Godzilla turns away from his innocent victims and faces – almost always destroying – the true evil.

Now, whatever else I may say about the Power Rangers from time to time, they are not stupid. In fact, they have a distinct knack for figuring out when someone is good on the inside (even when there is little to no evidence that would convince most sane people).

After an initial battle, maybe even coming close to defeating Godzilla, the Rangers would realize that the Big G is, in fact, not evil. They might help him, guide him away from civilization, or even team up with him against an actually evil foe.

My friend acquiesced, then asked “okay, then who COULD defeat Godzilla.”

I thought for a second, then said “Power Puff Girls.”

He agreed. Those girls can defeat any giant monster and don’t really care if the monster is good or evil, as long as it’s fun to hit.

I like the way 1nerd thinks, and would totally watch this movie:

Mighty Morphin Power Rangers vs. Nicolas Cage

One day while on the set of National Treasure 3: Revenge of the Constitution, Nicolas Cage eats a mysterious, glowing sandwich that was left over night at craft services and is for some reason split into 5 different versions of himself, all representing one character from his long and award laden career as a acting guineas.

The Team:

Castor Troy-Face/off

Milton-Drive Angry

Balthazar -The Sorcerer’s Apprentice
Cris Johnson-Next

Fu Manchu- Grindhouse

Only one team could possibly stand up to the might of this destructive force, The Mighty Morphin Power Rangers. The battle between them is destructive, involving much yelling and wide eyed stares but soon the Power Rangers are brought to their knees, all seems lost, but suddenly, out in the distance, comes a familiar tune. It’s Tommy Oliver aka The Green Ranger. He is able to make short work out of the Cage doubles, one by one they fall and soon the final Cage is dead. But before there is too much time to celebrate, the original Cage comes to avenge his parallel selves, but he has a secret weapon, he is clad head to toe in the most magnificent bear suit you have ever seen. Needless to say, the Rangers do not survive for long and the fight goes to the Cage, as it always will.

(still not entirely sure if I’m using this comment system right, so i suppose i will just put my facebook page in the comments,

More than one person suggested TMNT, but kurt.eh had the best logic:

Power Rangers vs TMNT

I don’t know how it would begin, but as I’ve argued in the past (on the old Grudge Match),

“This match all boils down to timing. By the time the rangers say “Superactionnameyourfavouritezordoftheweekandbuyourpowerzordtoyspower” the Turtles would have kicked their ass.”

Winners after the jump…

Galvy – please email me!

Let’s say I win two hundred million dollars in the lottery. I then use all of that money to create an inter-company crossover between Mighty Morphin’/Alien Rangers/Zeo/Turbo/In Space/Lost Galaxy/Lightspeed Rescue/Time Force/Wild Force/Ninja Storm/Dino Thunder/S.P.D./Mystic Force/Operation Overdrive/Jungle Fury/RPM/Samurai/Mega Force Power Rangers vs. VR Troopers vs. Big Bad Beetle Borgs vs. Tattoed Teenage Alien Fighters from Beverly Hills vs. Superhuman Samurai Syber (yes, “cyber” with an ‘s’) Squad vs. Masked Rider vs. Kamen Rider Dragon Knight vs. Ultraman vs. Ultraman Tiga vs. Ultraman Towards the Future vs. Guyver vs. 1998 Godzilla/G.I.N.O./Zilla vs. Johnny Sokko’s Giant Robot. It would be directed and overseen by Steve Wang (who built the Predator suit and directed Guyver 2 along with building the suits) with help from The Chiodo Brothers (they of Killer Klowns fame). Practical effects all the way (men in monster and robot suits), Koichi Sakamoto for fight choreography.

I don’t know who would win, other than to say Zilla would lose and everyone in the world would die from their eyeballs and genitals exploding from the sheer unbelievable amounts of awesome on display. Buckethead, Dave Mustaine, Zakk Wylde, Eddie Van Halen, and Prince don’t know why, but they all begin wailing on their guitars, raising Dimebag Darrel, Jimmy Hendrix, Randy Rhoads, and Stevie Ray Vaugh, who also, without knowing why, brandish their instruments and begin jamming on the song that ends the world.

Or Mighty Morphin’ Power Rangers vs. Freddy Kruger. Consider- Freddy always attacks teenagers. This time, he picks the wrong fucking group of teens to mess with. Rita decides to try and kill the Rangers in their sleep, when they’re most vulnerable and conjures the dream demon. Billy has a scary dream about everyone finding out he’s gay and making fun of him (David Yost is gay in real life), Zach dreams of drowning in snakes and spiders (per the episodes that shows he’s terrified of those), Kimberly dreams of Tommy turning back into the Evil Green Ranger, Trini dreams she never made it out of Saigon (Thuy Trang, who played Trini was one of the last refugees to escape Veit Nam before the Veit Cong took over), Jason dreams he’s Jose Conseco testifying before congress (because of those My Way parodies, you see), Tommy dreams that he loses his power and watches his friends die. They survive the dreams just barely, they all discuss their dreams with eachother and decide to talk to Zordon about it, Alpha does some research and concludes that they’re dealing with a dream demon, they all take turns going to sleep to try to catch him and pull him out of the dream world, it works, they beat him mercilessly, Rita makes him grow, they call the Zords, he dies in a massive fireball after a totally awesome fight that destroys a lot of buildings that look suspiciously empty and made of cardboard.

joshua.frisch – please email me!

Power Rangers vs. your childhood.

Fearing the loss of popularity, the Power Rangers travel back 15-20 years to obliterate any competition they had back in the day. This would include Batman The Animated Series, Spider-Man Animated Series, X-Men, Digimon, Pokemon. The Power Rangers eventually realize that they’re in over their heads and get destroyed (probably by something silly like the Beetlejuice Animated Series or the Jumanji Animated Series.)

Someguy – you, I know how to find.

Every Power Ranger team team up vs. Jar Jar Binks. Power Rangers would win. Really it would just be hours of Power Rangers beating up Jar Jar. (tell me you wouldn’t buy that.)