If High-School Party Movies Were Realistic

It’s no secret Hollywood lies. I mean, we all know, to cite an egregious exemplar, that the world doesn’t exist in 60 cuts every five minutes with blue filters and slow-motion camera rotations.

The lies are on a smaller scale as well. Movies promised that in high school, the loser kid would ultimately get the bully’s girl after some huge cockamamie scheme backfires and true feelings are confessed. They also promised me I wouldn’t graduate college a virgin. Falsehoods, all.

But if the movies were honest, would they be as fun? See for yourself…