Blu in Your Face: April 2nd, 2013

Marvel Cinematic Universe Phase One: Avengers Assembled – Got $150 for all six Marvel Studios movies, on Blu-ray and Blu-ray 3D in a replica suitcase with a glowing Tesseract? Sure you do – that’s still less than the price of one Hot Toys figure. Delayed for the dumbest of reasons (Marvel failed to negotiate proper merchandising rights with the luggage company that designed the case!), this set is finally coming out just in time to pump you up for Iron Man 3…and some surprise glimpses of future projects are also rumored. If I have to sell you on this in any other way, I can’t imagine you’re a regular reader, but it is my fond hope that somebody initiates a Kickstarter to send copies of this set to everyone at DC Comics so they can maybe learn something after the first hundred viewings.

John Dies at the End – We may have done a post or two about my favorite movie of the year so far; stay tuned, because later today I’m going to give you the chance to win a copy of both the movie and the book it’s based on.

The Bible: The Epic Miniseries – Well, that was a quick turnaround! Whether you believe it’s literal history or not, the Bible is still an epic tale of love, war and powerful supernatural forces that has endured for centuries. (You don’t have to believe midichlorians are real to enjoy Star Wars, either.) It’s mighty ambitious to take on the whole thing, but what really puzzles me is the novelization of the miniseries that I just saw in my local grocery store. I kinda thought there already was a book version that was pretty popular.

Tormented 3D – The Grudge director Takashi Shimizu brings us a 3D horror movie about a dangerously mind-altering 3D horror movie. I appreciate the meta-level of it all, but won’t be checking this out until I have a 3D TV, probably three years from now at minimum. And by then I’ll have forgotten about it. Just being honest here.

Stitches – UK stand-up comedian Ross Noble makes his feature-film debut in this Irish slasher film about a burned-out birthday clown who accidentally meets a bad end when a bunch of kids keep playing annoying pranks that inadvertently turn deadly. Six years later, said kids are all hormonally driven teens, finally untraumatized enough to hold another party, and Stitches the Clown returns from the grave. It seems clowns are an ancient fraternity with voodoo powers, and if they leave a party unfinished, there’s hell to pay. Particularly funny for kids like myself who grew up in Ireland and know the slang (those who didn’t may need subtitles), it’s a slow starter with some good gross-out kills, worth a watch but maybe not a purchase.

But since this is otherwise a slow week for geeky releases, after the jump I have some pictures from last night’s Hollywood premiere of Stitches, featuring all manner of dangerous objects crammed up clowns’ body cavities…