E3: EA Press Event Liveblog

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Quick montage of familiar title logos – FIFA, UFC, Madden, Titanfall, Plants vs. Zombies.

CEO Peter Moore comes out. Says everything you’re going to see is brand new code for Xbox One and PS4.

Garden Warfare – Huge open-world looking version of Plants vs. Zombies. Third-person action title. Gonna be available on 360 as well as XBOne.

“No Playstation? Fuck them!” – Julia.

Demo is funny – the zombies’ home base is a mansion like House of the Dead, and the goal is to plant a garden around it to wipe them out for good. Sunflowers, peashooters, chili peppers and all the rest are in play. Disco Zombie is a boss. He’s followed by Gargantuar.

Garlic drones! Love it.

Petal 2? Or did he say Paddle 2? No explanation follows; just a rainbow with a “2” on it.

More on Titanfall. Designers talk up the multiplayer aspect, they wanted to make it fun and relatable. I’m so glad they didn’t set out to make it painful and alienating, because I hate when they do that.

“The Titans are evolutions of modern exoskeletons.” Yeah, I got that. They’re agile rather than lumbering.

“Fun” is your drinking game word for this presentation.

Star Wars Battlefront! Just a brief first-person POV on Hoth as a Snowspeeder crashes in front of you, and then a giant AT-AT foot comes down.

Now that racing game with the “Driveatars” again. Oh wait, no. Need for Speed: Rivals. Has a feature called “All Drive” which allows multiplayer and single-player in the same online world. You can play as a racer or a cop. A race can start as single player, end in multiplayer. And it sounds like you can bring in a playable helicopter too.

Again with the rain-spatter on the lens. Self-conscious acknowledging of a camera annoys me, especially when there never was a real camera.

I feel like they’re just showing off that they can do reflective surfaces.

Aaron Paul to star in a Need for Speed movie.

I guess after six movies, somebody realized that Fast & Furious was ripe for ripping off. Looks generic so far.

Dragon Age Inquisition – Fall 2014. Oh man, the people in this do not look so good. It’s like they’re filling the screen with particulate matter so we won’t notice that. Looks a bit like ParaNorman and I don’t think that’s what they wanted.

Oh good, they’re doing the sports stuff all at once. I can get my not caring over with quicker.

Powered by EA Sports Ignite. Something about a living world and human intelligence.

Some dude’s doing a poetry slam deal about basketball. “Let it go, release” Nothing suggestive there.

Kyrie Irving out to talk about the importance of dribbling. Dribbling “has always lacked the depth of true-ball handling” in video games. New technology called Bounce-Tech “releasing the ball to physics.” “Unprecedented control and authentic responsiveness.”

Within an hour after a game happens, NBA Live will update with real stats.

Madden NFL 25 – “True Step” locomotion system. Does every new game have a gimmicky technobabble name for whatever its new feature is?

“Offensive linemen dynamically sort.” If you say so. Closer to NFL football than ever before, like every new football game has claimed.

And now FIFA. Any bets on what they’re going to say they have as a new feature? “Kick-a-Tron,” perhaps? My bad, it’s called “Pro Instincts.”

Drake out here talking about his passion for soccer.

You’ll feel the reactions of the fans. I don’t suppose you get to see them riot – that’d be a whole new game.

UFC’s Bruce Buffer out now. And Dana White. And UFC champs Jon Jones, Benson Henderson. White looks bigger than both his champs.

“I believe fighting was the first sport ever on this planet” – White. Does that mean animals are the first athletes? Haven’t played a UFC game since Dreamcast, and that one sucked – fights ended in seconds. This needs to be better.

Oh, hear come the new features. “MMAI” – clever. “Full Body Deformation” – feature supposed to make you feel the impact of blows. Dana tries to pitch this to fans of fighting games in general.

This UFC trailer looks like Zack Snyder made it. Lots of slo-mo, freezing at moment of impact.

Battlefield 4. New feature called “Levolution.” Jeebus Cripes, the cutesy feature names are getting silly. Up to 64 soldiers onscreen at one time. And now they’re going to demonstrate with 64 players right now, in a Siege of Shanghai level. It’s cleaner and less chaotic looking than the aircraft carrier level shown this morning.

Sniping from the top of a skyscraper to tanks down below at street level. That’s cool. They base-jump off of it and now the whole tower collapses. Damn.

Mirror’s Edge 2. “Coming when it’s ready.” Honesty is good. Trailer looks very smooth, aesthetic is like Tron Legacy a bit, but whiter. Faith gets eye tattoos.

And that’s a wrap, folks.