Reboot-A-Rama: 12 Monkeys and Van Damme Times Two


Syfy doing a reboot of 12 Monkeys, as a series? Jeez, I can’t think what could possibly go wrong there. I’d be more sold on the concept if you called it 12 Sharktopi versus 18 Crocosauruses, but whatever. You folks do know that you could cut out the residuals middleman if you just called it La Jetee, right? There’s a reason none of the U.S. Nikita shows was called Point of No Return.

But speaking of that whole concept of uselessly spending money for remake rights, there are now TWO competing Jean-Claude Van Damme remakes happening – Bloodsport and Kickboxer – because the concept of a relatively plotless martial arts tournament is so unique it clearly requires branding. And it gets better: the plot of Bloodsport is going to be changed signifciantly:

Relativity’s version will instead focus on the morally-conflicted life of 21st century mercenaries who clash with the underground world of Brazilian Vale Tudo, the martial arts style used by Donald Gibb’s character in the original film.

I’m a fan of those old ’80s movies, but even I can’t tell you the difference between Van Damme plots. I will say that if I’m WWE Studios, I’d be trying to rush a Rob Van Dam vehicle called Bloodboxer into production right about now.