Hell No, the Sensible Horror Movie



I never realized until now just how much modern horror movies owe to C.S. Lewis. In The Magician’s Nephew – chronologically the first of the Narnia books – his allegorical version of Satan is unleashed upon the world purely because one kid favored curiosity over a blatant threat. Warned that striking a bell will unleash danger – but that not doing so will make you so insanely curious you’ll always wonder what might have happened – guess what the dumb protagonist does? The same thing horror-movie characters do with cabins in the woods, mysterious artifacts and ancient rituals, of course.

But what if they didn’t? The answer lies in this fake trailer to Hell No, the horror movie that will never exist because it violates every single rule (Ironically, the rule-obsessed dungeon master dude from Zero Charisma is in it). Consider yourself officially outsmarted, Jamie Kennedy character from Scream.

Hit the jump to see what I mean.

h/t Canadian.Scott

About Author

Luke Y. Thompson has been writing professionally about movies and pop-culture since 1999, and has also been an actor in some extremely cheap culty and horror movies you will probably never hear much about (he is nonetheless mostly proud of them, as he met his wife on one). As editor of The Robot's Voice since 2012, he can take the blame for the majority of the site's content, all of which he creates because he loves you very, very much. (Although he loves nachos more. Sorry.) Prior to TRV, Luke wrote for publications that include the New Times LA, Los Angeles CityBeat, E! Online, OC Weekly, Geekweek, GeekChicDaily, The L.A. Times, The Village Voice, LA Weekly, and Nerdist