Terrible, HORRIBLE News Roundup: “Chinese Food” Sequel, Lake Placid vs. Anaconda, Madea vs. Larry the Cable Guy

Sometimes, just sometimes, I feel like sharing the worst things imaginable with you folks. It’s bad of me, I know. And that’s why I’m doing it in the middle of the night. Seriously, Michael Bay producing Ninja Turtles has nothing on the sheer badness in which some things blatantly wallow.

First of all – Here’s Alison Gold’s follow-up to “Chinese Food,” entitled “ABCDEFG” because producer Patrice Wilson just stares around his office for ideas and saw a dictionary, apparently…in which Wilson, who usually dresses as a plushie and ALWAYS gives himself a rap solo before the final chorus, decides to play Mister Rogers as if he were a date-raping child molester. If it were just in another language, we’d be calling this a Super Terrific Japanese Thing.

I wonder if the Japanese would ironically call it a Super Terrific American Thing, or just say, “Hey, that country’s finally coming around!”

It gets worse…

Then, Tyler Perry presents Tyler Perry’s Madea and Dan Whitney’s Larry the Cable Guy have made a Christmas movie together (via Badassdigest)

Oh, and then this: taking a page from Syfy’s book, the barely alive “horror” movie franchises of Lake Placid and Anaconda are doing a crossover movie, that’s shooting in Bulgaria.

Now, doesn’t your life feel better by comparison?