What the Hell? Tintin‘s Jamie Bell to Play Ben Grimm in Fantastic Four?


Okay, okay. I get that it’s motion-capture, so you don’t necessarily have to cast the biggest guy in the world. So you cast Billy freakin’ Elliot? Tintin? The kid who disappears from Peter Jackson’s King Kong halfway through the movie like he’s playing Tommy Wiseau’s second-best friend? An English kid with a high voice is gonna yell out, “It’s clobberin’ time!” like he’s a New York cabbie?

Zack Snyder is laughing tonight. Little does he know we don’t really care enough about the FF reboot to nerd-rage like we oughta. Oh, but there’s more…

Michael B. Jordan and Kate Mara will play Johnny and Sue Storm, which is interesting because these siblings are now totally different races, so expect lots of gratuitous throwaway lines about adoption. And the lead choice to play Reed right now is The Spectacular Now‘s Miles Teller. Now, Teller shows a lot of promise as an actor…but he’s 27. The signature gray sideburns are going to look mightily odd on him. And they can’t do Reed without ’em, right?

Seriously, though…Bell-ji Grimm seems like a way worse call than even Batfleck. What are they thinking? FF Babies: The Movie? It’s apparently not a total done deal yet, so maybe there’s hope…

You know how this works? If it’s the old Hanna Barbera “Thing ring, do your thing!” cartoon. Bell actually looks like that guy.