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Domino’s Replaces Pizza Dough With Fried Chicken, Because ‘MURICA!


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Using similar logic as KFC did when they created the Double Down (fried chicken patties for buns), Domino’s is now going with the “fuck it, you’re gonna kill yourself anyway” option and piling pizza toppings on top of breaded fried chicken. Also most of them have bacon on top, presumably because it’s cheaper than arsenic.

Biggest winner: the Noid, whose running after Domino’s all these years without actually getting any has maintained his thin figure.

Biggest loser: county fair vendors, wondering how the hell they can keep upping the stakes when supposedly legitimate chains do this.

On the other hand, Ultimate Warrior, with barely any body fat, only lived 11 years longer than 500lb-plus Viscera. So maybe, you know, screw it.

via Foodbeast