Alien: 35th Anniversary Edition – All right, reader, level with me. Are you seriously a sci-fi fan who does not already own a version of Alien that has the director’s and theatrical cut on the same disc? Does owning a comic book and trading cards make all the difference?
Look, if you genuinely don’t have it yet in your collection, this set is the best reason yet to bring it in. But if you don’t, why the hell are you reading this? And what will finally persuade you at this point? “Yo, Prometheus fans – this happens next”?
A Million Ways to Die in the West – Surprisingly soul-baring western spoof from Seth MacFarlane, who lays bare his nerd asshole soul only to have audiences and critics mostly trample upon it. Not like he cares, but I got the message, and feel like his attempt at a personal statement was mostly ignored by those who’d stereotype everything he does without a second thought. A slightly longer, more unrated cut is included on Blu, and features a commentary by MacFarlane, his co-writers/producers, and Charlize Theron. Never do they say how they survive outside of the manatee tank.
“…as quickly as I’ve devoured the first six episodes, my opinion so far is solidly on the fence. While it’s mostly a very fun and super-watchable show that goes down smoother than fried birthday cake, there are a few things that R&M has done so far that are a little, shall we say…discouraging. I’m all for following Roiland, Harmon and their merry band down this rabbit hole, but if you’re looking to get all caught up before the series returns to the air on March 10th, you should know that it can be kind of a mixed bag.”
In fairness, most other people who talk about it are more positive.
The Neverending Story: 30th Anniversary – As far as I can tell, there really aren’t any major new extras on this, which is a shame; even “Limahl goes to the bowling alley” would be something. I’ll go out on a limb and say that while this is classic fantasy for our generation, it can still be done better: Ygramul the Many wasn’t possible with ’80s effects, and a faithful oracle would be very different. Still, the movie is great for its time, and if your big strong arms can make believe it’s everywhere, this ought to be yours soon enough.
Sharknado 2 – Better than it ought to be, this Syfy spoof is cheesy but also an effective critique of the modern action movie, with more random deaths and less pretense at anything but exploitation. Ian Ziering might not even be kidding when he tries to come off as the glowering dark hero, and I’m not sure Tara Reid can kid. Includes weird random cameos from the likes of Judd Hirsch and Kurt Angle, who possibly killed their agents when they found out how small the budget must have been.
Kingdom of Heaven: Ultimate Edition – It’s been a while, but I remember really liking this Ridley Scott Crusades epic, even as some folks groused that the utterly fictional movie didn’t tell a historically accurate tale. Orlando Bloom was never better. This Blu-ray finally contains all the extras from the deluxe DVD set, as well as multiple cuts of the film itself.
Adventure Time: Season 4 – Love Jake the Dog and Finn the Human. Haven’t gotten this far along in the show yet. You know that thing where your wife gets you into something, then forbids you to watch further without her, but never comes back to it? If not, trust me, it happens.
Nekromantik – Only 10,000 copies are being made of this notorious German exploitation film, still banned in multiple countries and parts of Canada due to its animal cruelty and corpse-fucking. Often cited as a test for somebody’s threshold of exploitation, but never for its quality of cinema.
Houdini – The escape artist biopic starring Adrien Brody appears to have appealed most to people who don’t know much about the man.
Bates Motel: Season 2 – You guys think Gotham‘s off-track? Talk to some Psycho fans about continuity sometime.
Godzilla vs. Biollante – If the plant from Little Shop of Horrors really does try to take over the world, here’s how Godzilla will deal with it.
Hemlock Grove Season 1 – Is Eli Roth’s vampires and werewolves series any good? Honestly, I’ve never heard anyone talk about it.
It’s a Very Merry Muppet Christmas Movie – The Muppets do It’s a Wonderful Life, in one of their lesser-known features. Never seen it, but you can usually count on the Muppets.
Ancient Aliens Season 6 Volume 1 – It seems there are a shit-ton of ways to say “aliens built the pyramids” over and over.
Jack and the Cuckoo Clock Heart – We recently reviewed this concept musical, and if you have any interest in it, you should go for the Bluy-ray, which has the original French soundtrack not on the DVD or in theaters.
The Prophecy: The Complete Collection – I trust you’ll all join me in saying, “There were FIVE Prophecy movies?”
Dragon Ball Z: Battle of Gods (Extemded Edition) – Dragon Ball Z‘s not really my bag, but I assume this is significant.
Aside from rereleases that don’t seem to be significantly new in any way – The Good, the Bad and the Ugly, for example – those are my top picks for today. What would you add?