Ask Luke’s Mother-in-Law: A Wish for Johnny Depp to Ditch the Whiteface


In which ex-cop/crazy cat lady/mom-in-law Martha Boyd answers your questions from the coziness of the Joshua Tree desert. All questions and answers are real.

Hello and welcome to 2015, everyone. Here is to a great year. Here is one for all of you: I FINALLY LEARNED HOW TO TEXT. Over the holiday, Julia finally convinced me to turn on John’s Samsung G3 and ditch the flip phone. Then she taught me how to text. Now, this is something John loved to do. Not sure how he managed; his fingers were rather large. I have tiny hands and I can’t hit the correct letters – so how he ever did it is anyone’s guess. Well, I now know how to use a touch screen and to text, and I even figured out how to find an Internet connection away from home. Okay, you can now all get up off the ground, dust yourselves off and stop laughing. There are days I still long for paper and pencil. I have the old ATT endless data plan, so look out, world.

The house is back to being quiet again; just me and the fur babies. Oh, I got the Crazy Cat Lady action figure with her 6 cats and even an extra bag o’ cats as a gift. I have it on a shelf in the office. Over the holiday, I also journeyed to Los Angeles to see Julia at the Comedy Store. This was the third time she has done her stand up at the club. Then it was off to Anaheim to see mom on New Year’s Eve. Being the party animals that we are, we saw the 9:15 p.m. Disneyland fireworks and went to bed. Well it was midnight somewhere in the world.

I guess you were all busy doing things over the holidays. But here we go with the questions that came in.

Got 2 questions on keeping Johnny Depp following Tim Burton and Helena Bonham Carter’s breakup.

Changhana 24 and DrAbraxas both had this burning question: “who gets to keep Johnny Depp?”

Well, to start with, who wants him? Disney? Probably – they could always do another Pirates movie, and thank god in those he does not wear that awful white face. I have a feeling he will do just fine and he is no long in the triangle of whatever was going on. He was pretty decent in Into the Woods as the wolf.

Follow-up from DrAbraxas to above question:

tim burton and HBC are split is this the end of the universe?

No, but hopefully it is the end of Johnny Depp in white face.


Is that the skull of one of those things from Nausicaa?

Hello, my mystery person with no picture and just numbers. Nausicaa Valley of the Wind, or from Homer’s Odyssey the maiden in book 6?

The skull in last weeks picture was taken at Skull Rock in Joshua Tree National Park. I think it looks like the Gorilla army head from Planet of the Apes. That was the first thing that came to mind when I first saw the rock.


Dear Ms Ppraisal,

Can you explain what Boxing Day is all about? Despite having heard the t we may for years and years, I still have no idea. Once I watched an episode of M*A*S*H* where Boxing Day mean the officers and enlisted men all had to do each others jobs. If that’s the meaning of Boxing Day, it does not seem like a big deal.

Boxing Day is a very British holiday and is celebrated around the world due to British colonization. It is celebrated the day after Christmas. Here in American it is the day-after shopping markdown day. LOL. Anyway, back to Boxing Day. It was when the servants and local tradespersons were given their Christmas Box from the employers. Sort of an Upstairs/Downstairs thing. In other countries it is called St. Stephen’s Day, Wren’s Day, Second Day of Christmas, Bank holiday (public holiday). The day of Christmas, servants and trades were busy waiting on lords/ladies of the manor and customers in shops. The day after was the day that these people could spend time with family and receive a gift for their good service in the past year. In the States we give annual extra tip to people who bring our newspaper, mail, clean our houses, do our hair etc. It is for last year’s service and to insure good service in the new year.


What do you think of this upcoming “Into The Woods” movie? I am personally not into it as a movie because it looks a bit too Broadway. Especially Depp’s Wolf.

Saw Into the Woods – loved it. Yes it is very Broadway, but more than they can do on any stage. The vocals were all good. Chris Pine ripping open his shirt, so “Captain Kirk.” Just had to toss that in. I know the play and all of the music so had to fight the urge to sing along with the cast. Being in musical theater for 20 yrs, you always get the urge to sing at a musical, you know. Depp as the wolf was great – he got the idea that the wolf was the local pervert. It was also good not to see him in the all-too-common white face. He is a good character actor. It would have been nice to fill some things out a bit more i.e.: gold harp and golden egg story, but that’s ok. I saw the movie with Julia and Luke and I think we all liked it. Give it a try.


happy ho hos mamasan, glad yer festivities were enjoyed. i do like what water erosion causes. on to the q…
my birth stone is peridot i love green it’s my favorite color. but i wish my birthstone had more oomph, more character, like say emerald. are you happy with your birthstone, and do you mind revealing what it is?

Hope you had a great holiday also. Thank you very much for the T-shirt. I have attached a photo of me wearing it this week. Good fit.

My birthstone is diamond for April. Over the years I got lots of them for gifts, so by the time I got married I told John – no diamond engagement ring. We went more European with a colored stone of blue topaz (the December stone) – this is also Julia’s birthstone so it is really nice that my wedding set is blue topaz and our only baby is also blue topaz. We did have some small diamonds in the wedding band that the engagement fit into.

Now, I do like the colored diamonds especially the chocolate ones and would not turn my nose up at one – but the plain white ones are not my favorite. I have jewelry but don’t wear it very often as when you are acting you don’t wear personal items, and then work has never lent itself to wearing much as it generally got broken.


My question: do you take your lights down the day after Christmas, after New Years, or on the first nice day you get?

Never. I have always left them up year-round on the inside of the house. We have always done the windows from the inside due to our heavy winds. So I just unplg them. We have them around interior door frames etc – unplug. The few that we do have outside I do take down after New Years. The Christmas tree also is up all year. We just add ornaments for the different holidays. Easter eggs/bunnies at Easter, flags for the 4th of July etc. It is the holiday bush.

I do have a holiday village and put that away after New Years because it takes up an entire counter and I generally want the space back. Also I don’t turn any of this on until after Thanksgiving. I keep my holidays separate. Right now I hate it that the Christmas candy is on one side of the aisle and Valentines candy is right across the aisle.


Chicken or pork? What’s your go-to white meat? And what’s your favorite dish involving that meat?

Well, for Christmas Eve dinner we had chicken taquitos and pork tamales (Pic attached). I probably eat more chicken then pork currently, but that is probably like 60/40 split.


For the pork I love a good pork roast – just bake in in the oven. But I also do a good BBQ pork in the crock pot. Just the pork roast (butt portion), 1 container of BBQ sauce (mesquite) and 1/2 cup of aqave syrup, all into the crock pot until it falls apart. You can also toss in green peppers and an onion if you like.

For the chicken: I put a whole chicken in the crock pot. 2 cans of chicken broth, 1 can of corn (drained), 1 can of pinto beans (drained) and a can of mexican spiced diced tomatoes. Makes a great soup. I love to make soup. Anyway cook the chicken til it falls off the bones, remove the bones and shred chicken. Toss chicken back in the pot. You can add as much salt, pepper and tabasco as you like. It is good service with sour cream and tortilla chips. Corn chips work as well if you prefer.

So this concludes another round of fun and frolic. While Julia and LYT were here for Christmas the hot water heater died (only 2 yrs old). It was only a fuse, so not too bad, but took over a week to get it fixed. I am going to the Citizen’s Patrol meeting tonight, going back to law enforcement as a volunteer – should be fun. The Joshua Tree Film Fest will be starting up again in a couple of weeks. January there are going to have a selection of short films. So glad that METV is now showing “TheMod Squad” on Sunday at 5pm. I loved this show when it first ran.

Well, friends, that is about all for this week. Please leave more of your questions in comments below. As always be good to each other and Huggs.