Ask Luke’s Mother-in-Law: A New Podcast Star Is Born


Martha Boyd is former LAPD, a licensed property appraiser and a self-described crazy cat lady. None of which has prepared her for TR readers. All questions and answers are real.

Hi, and hope you all had a great St Patrick’s Day. I made a trip to Los Angeles last weekend, as Julia was performing with Upright Citizens Brigade (UCB) and the show was on Sunday so I was able to make it. After the show we went over to Hollywood and Highland for a great lunch, and while we were there the UCLA band was doing a pep rally for March Madness. They were good, but we would rather have had USC. We also did a little shopping at Hot Topic, then back to the apartment and I got wrangled into a podcast; my very first for Topless Robot, so I hope you all enjoy. It is about 1.5 hrs long and I am the only guest. Had fun doing it.

Julia also cooked corn beef and cabbage for dinner. It was her first time cooking this and she did a really good job – the beef was nice and tender. I also made a stop in Anaheim and had Saturday breakfast with my mom and a group of her friends.

Over the last few days in the desert, we went from cold to over 90 degrees. Summer weather in the spring. Of course later in the week it is supposed to go back to the 70s. I have turned off the heaters, but it is too early to turn on the air conditioners; alas, I broke down today and turned it on in the office for a few.

This trip, I left the kitties on their own with no babysitter. They were all very happy to see me when I returned home on Monday morning. The house was still standing and there were only a few extra things knocked on the ground. And this trip I remembered not to leave any toilet paper out that Mr. Frizzy could get his little paws on.


Now to see what you all asked when I was gone.


Who is a better moses heston or bale:

I am really not sure who these are. The only Moses that is associated with a Heston is Charlton Heston, who played Moses in The 10 Commandments. Love him as an actor. Bale not sure of. Re-ask next week with more detail, please.


hi hi mamasan, is it better to burn out, than fade away?

Well I would like to burn out, as that means you lived life and went out with a bang, most likely.


Anonymous request:

I’d like this question to be anonymous:

I’ve been keeping my mother at arms length for the past few years because she’s homeless and living in a park with an abusive husband. Anytime she’s come back into my life problems have started up to a greater or lesser degree.

I love her, but I can’t really spend much time talking to her. I’m inclined to send her something for Mother’s day this year, but I don’t know what I should send of if I should send anything at all.

Any recommendations?

I am so sorry to hear this. From what you wrote, I assume that both mom and husband are still together and in the park homeless. To start with, you need to protect your self and your family – they need to be first, especially if you have tried to help your mom in the past and it has only caused problems. It would be nice of you to let her know you are thinking of her on mother’s day, but you need to protect your sanity first. Most homeless don’t have addresses where you can send things and thus if you want to give her something it most likely would need to be with personal contact or through someone else who knows her and could deliver something.

Since she’s homeless, possibly paying for a few nights in a motel would be nice, or a care package of toiletries and or food gift certificates are always useful. Take care and I will keep you and your mom in my thoughts.


Have you ever had to deal with Internal Affairs as a police office? Are they as absolutely horrid as the t.v. shows say, or are they just co-workers that maybe would join the regular officers for drinks after work?

Well, TV tends to make them more dramatic than in real life. No, I have never been in front of IA to testify and/or be investigated. I have known guys who worked this division and they were all very nice and just doing their assigned jobs. They are generally on the detective level and experienced officers. They don’t do the job because they like to nail a fellow officer. They are, however, a necessary part of a department to clear officers who have been wrongly accused of something and to find out when there is a bad egg in the group.


With the possibility of practical fusion reactors as the claims above: if in a few decades fusion power becomes common do you think we’ll see glut of oxygen bars at one point due to this?

Well, fusion power from what I understand is pretty cool and a very clean energy source. However I don’t think oxygen bars will become any bigger; they are sort of a trendly thing.


Having just heard the news about Terry Pratchett dying, I’m curious as to whether or not you’ve ever read his books? If so, what’d’ya think?

I must say that I have never had the pleasure to read his work. Is there anything that you would recommend?


ill ask a real world question … why do they allow pedophiles to be separated from the rest of the population in the jail enviroment ?

i asked this question to a friend of a friend and he lost his marbles on the subject saying pedos are people too ( altho once you rape someone you lose all rights to be called Human, in my book)

Surprisingly, there is a code of ethics among crooks. Child abusers, rapists etc are considered to be the scum of the earth even in a jail population. If they are in general population and they are found out, they generally do not last long, thus it is for their safety that they are segregated from the normal population in most facilities.


Dear Ms. Ppraisal,

Over the holidays I won sales incentive contest that amounted to a quick trip to Las Vegas. Sadly (or fortunately, if you ask my bank account) the trip was very short. We flew out on Monday and came back out on Wednesday morning. Monday and Tuesday night included company-sponsored dinner and a cocktail party. I feel like our limited free time puts a damper on the fun things I could do when I was there.

Given the extremely limited free time we have on these trips, what would you recommend as far as tourist attractions or other things to do in Vegas. Most of our night hours are always planned out, so most shows are out of the question.

Also, why did they pull the Star Wars slot machines out of the casinos? They had a damned Flintstones slots, an Ellen DeGeneres slots, and a Twilight slots for goodness sake and I never saw anyone play any of those.

For tourist things there is always Hoover Dam – that is very interesting. If you have a rental car, just driving out North of Vegas is a pretty drive as long it is not summer. Another fave place that I like, which is on the south end of Vegas, is the Ethel M Chocolate Factory: they have a tour and you see how they make the candy and then they have a wonderful company store. Look them up online – they also do mail order. In downtown on Fremont street they have a lot of walking things you can do and that is old Las Vegas. There is even a walking tour you can take and you meet actors who are playing different characters and you eat/drink you way thru downtown. I also like the exhibits at the Hard Rock Hotel. There is also a gangster exhibit in one of the hotels, an MM tour and the rides at New York New York. The best buffet is at the Rio (seafood). The water show at the Mirage is really good and free.

As for why the Star Wars slots went – who knows, does seem pretty dumb, but then they also got rid of the Star Trek exhibit at the Hilton which was really cool if you were into Trek.

Just heard that comic Jeff Dunham has his very own prop Michael Keaton Batmobile and he has this on display along with a replica Adam West Batmobile at the Vegas Hard Rock where he is playing.


This week I have attached a pic of the UCLA band and the Hollywood pep rally. Also pictures of a couple of dinos that are just off the I-10 in Cabazon. You can tell their size by looking at the cars in the pictures. The black jeep is mine and I was in the parking lot across from the dino. You can see them from the freeway. The dinos have been a roadside attraction for as long as I can remember. They are hollow inside and have exhibits. For anyone traveling on the I-10, Cabazon is near Palm Springs, sort of in between Palm Springs and Casino Morongo and the outlet center stores. It is a fun stop. Also in the immediate area are a place to get date shakes and an A&W root beer place.

As always be good to each other until we chat again and Huggs

If you’d like to add your questions to the pile for Luke’s mother-in-law, leave them in comments below. No topic is off-limits.