Merchandise, Movies

The Official Sparkly Pepper Spray of Paul Blart 2

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Thumbnail image for blartblingsting.png

This is quite a thing to find in your inbox:

“Check this out! blingsting? pepper spray is the most fashionable way to stay safe! Soon to be featured in Mall Cop 2, it’s the ultimate accessory that serves a purpose, too! More information and photos are below. Can I send you a sample?”

Question: how am I expected to test and review this product?

Now, before you get huffy with me, I KNOW Paul Blart 2 is not the kind of movie I’m meant to be writing about. I know this because I had to fucking review the first one. But weird merchandise is, and sparkly pepper spray makes me think our nerd movies – which all but INVENTED the modern merchandising tie-in, praise be to Lucas – need to step up their game.

blingsting.jpg


Come to think of it, I don’t know if these pepper sprays are meant to be bought by fans of Paul Blart, or people who want to keep away fans of Paul Blart. That’s pretty genius marketing, right there.

About Author

Luke Y. Thompson has been writing professionally about movies and pop-culture since 1999, and has also been an actor in some extremely cheap culty and horror movies you will probably never hear much about (he is nonetheless mostly proud of them, as he met his wife on one). As editor of The Robot's Voice since 2012, he can take the blame for the majority of the site's content, all of which he creates because he loves you very, very much. (Although he loves nachos more. Sorry.) Prior to TRV, Luke wrote for publications that include the New Times LA, Los Angeles CityBeat, E! Online, OC Weekly, Geekweek, GeekChicDaily, The L.A. Times, The Village Voice, LA Weekly, and Nerdist