Terrifying Comic-Con Exclusive George R.R. Martin Plush Is the Last Thing I’d Want to Snuggle With


Summer is coming!

Apparently, Factory Entertainment’s first attempt at a George R. R. Martin talking plush (which said things like “It’s a nice day…for a red wedding!”) wasn’t sufficiently unappealing to deter sales – so they’ve added a battle ax, suitably medieval costume, and two extra sound bites to make an exclusive edition at twice the price. No truth, as far as I know, to the rumors I just made up that those extra soundbites would be, “If you knew how it ends, you’d never buy my merchandise” and “Spoiler alert! Everyone gets sexually assaulted.”

But enough about me. What would you like him to say?