Who’s Randy Orton?
A WWE wrestler who comes off as a total douche and basically has one good move – the RKO – that’s more or less a rip-off of Steve Austin’s Stone Cold Stunner.
Fuck. Aren’t you supposed to keep the stupid wrestling posts to one a week? You wrote about Hulk Hogan on Friday, and now this?
I’m sorry. But this is about superhero movies too. Also, Randy Orton has made movies as well as being a wrestler.
Like fucking what?
Well, he did The Marine 3…oh no, wait, he got fired from that after actual military people found out he was a dishnorably discharged former Marine. Umm…he was in that one movie about bullying, where Ed Harris played a gay teacher.
And who did he play?
A total douche. He doesn’t stretch much.
Why are we even talking about this, again?
Because the fake trailer you’re about to see is really funny, with a barely animated Randy Orton fighting Henry Cavill and everyone else.
So why are you totally ripping off Rob right now?
I didn’t call this a spoiler FAQ, so it’s totally different.
No it isn’t.
I’ll give you a magic kiss that will make you forget everything.
Okay. But you’re missing out.
h/t Max Landis, who clearly really does not like dark and brooding Superman.
Luke Y. Thompson has been writing professionally about movies and pop-culture since 1999, and has also been an actor in some extremely cheap culty and horror movies you will probably never hear much about (he is nonetheless mostly proud of them, as he met his wife on one). As editor of The Robot's Voice since 2012, he can take the blame for the majority of the site's content, all of which he creates because he loves you very, very much. (Although he loves nachos more. Sorry.)
Prior to TRV, Luke wrote for publications that include the New Times LA, Los Angeles CityBeat, E! Online, OC Weekly, Geekweek, GeekChicDaily, The L.A. Times, The Village Voice, LA Weekly, and Nerdist