Great news from THR last night: Crown Publishing, a crown being a thing worn by the person sitting the Iron Throne in popular book and television series The Game of Thrones, is sending a bunch of mack trucks filled with Federal Reserve gold just like in Die Hard 3 to purported author Ernie Cline’s house to write like how Crash Override in Hackers wrote only this is writing a book and it’s apparently about science fiction!
Goddamn I wish I had the patience to keep that schtick up. Anyway, reports indicate that the book’s subject is a TOP SECRET, but in an exclusive scoop exclusive to Topless Robot that we only guessed but really, does it sound that off? We’ve heard that a first draft has already been submitted to Cline’s editor! It’s the script from Enemy Mine cut and pasted into Notepad, with a find and replace run on it swapping out every mention of “Willis Davidge” with “Bernie Clyne” and “Jerry” with “Chappy like from Iron Eagle.” It’s called “Mistaken Best Friends Starring Ernie Cline Age 31 and His Best Friend Lou Gossett Junior.” MUST CREDIT TOPLESS ROBOT.