Fear the Walking Dead Recap and SPOILER Thread


Zombies, Los Angeles and Cliff Curtis ought to combine to super-charge my sweet spot, but did they? Below, my thoughts as I watched the debut episode.

-Catholic church! Beautiful homeless guy who looks vaguely like Johnny Depp! Yep, this is LA

-That shirt would be way too small for him even if it were buttoned, which of course it is not.

-I’m guessing the equivalent of the Dixon brothers in LA would be gangbangers

-Dude is thinking “she just bit a guy’s face off, and has a knife in her, but I’d still hit it.”

-I’m sorry – how was a car moving that fast on an LA city street to do him any damage?

-Okay – short Lost-style credits, huh?

-Tough mom says “Ass.”

-I fear Cliff Curtis may have been saddled with an unfortunate accent, but that would be in keeping with tradition, “Coral.”

-“You were raving about flesh, blood and viscera.” “I don’t know what viscera is.” Okay then. Good alibi.

-“LA is not a pedestrian friendly city” Indeed. Which is why “walking” dead would be ignored for a long time.

-“Whaddaya MAIN?” – Curtis’ Maori accent sneaks through. Just let him do it.

-“He just needs to get the junk out if his system” Oh, is that all?

-School counselor would not say “ass” to a student. Lawsuit in waiting.

-Naturally, the fat nerd with acne knows what’s up first. The hot nerds are too busy being famous…and hosting aftershows.

-Just a premature guess here – interracial dating = death?

-Hospital kid’s hair went from Johnny Depp to Zack de la Rocha, presumably without stylists.

-“She was eating.” Yeah, in LA, you should always be suspicious when you see a hot blonde eating. Human flesh, or otherwise.

-The walls in the hospital actually look like McFarlane building sets – all one-by-two bricks.

-Does yelling “HEY! ANYONE HERE!” in a seemingly empty building ever work?

=Mercedes ad promoting their car as great for zombie apocalypses? That’s novel.

-“Something really bad happened there.” “I don’t care.” If you knew you were in a piece of fiction, you’d know that rebuttal never works. Ask Tommy Lee Jones.

-The high-altitude, looking out on all of LA shots are fun. Just like when you get that kind of view in LA for real.

-“Meet me after school. I can make this better.” “Yeah, how?” BY FUCKING, moron.

-Tattoo done in black marker is going to reek.

-Cliff Curtis is teaching Jack London. Because survival, ya know.

-“I don’t care about building a fire” – overly dumb student. Either he builds one later to dramatic music, or he dies badly.

-Principal could have been a zombie…but he’s not! That would have been too obvious. Especially since he seems to have been cast to look slightly like Obama.

-Leaving a hospital really isn’t too hard. At any given time, everyone is too busy to be attentive. “How does he just leave?” Go into any hospital in L.A., AT ALL. Then you’ll know.

-Just so you all know, going back to the scene of a crime in downtown LA would be a bad idea even if zombies were not a factor.

-Good to see an abandoned church has working electrical outlets. A rare act of generosity by LA-DWP

-Pretty modern-looking phone. I take it the Walking Dead that we’ve seen happens in the future, then.

-Any real Angeleno would have bailed on that freeway exit long before the gunshots. Like, as soon as it was clear traffic wasn’t moving.

-So nobody thinks to suggest “bath salts” as a cause of people acting like zombies?

-Gas 2.39 a gallon? When the fuck did they film this? I guess it is a prequel for real?.

-“Killshot bitch.” Let’s get that on a T-shirt, stat.

-Damn, dude walking into the diner faked me out. I thought it was a commercial and fast-forwarded.

-“It’s safe here” is some famous last words shit if I ever heard them.

-Calvin? Calvin? CAAALVIIIIINNNNNN!!!! And the Walkers. “Zombie, zombie time is here, time for spin-offs, they’re called fear. We’ve been good and we’ll take pains, hurry zombies, eat my brains…”

-Again we must ask why nobody in a zombie movie has ever heard of zombies before.

-“No satellites”? How do zombies get those?

Anyway, seems like it could develop into something fun. What did you all think?