Fear the Walking Dead Recap: Hatosy Future

Justina Mintz/AMC 

I’m waiting for this show to become something more than a hate-watch. Or at least a mildly disdainful watch. Did we get there this week?

SPOILERS

-Blood in the water? Okay, let’s be literal.

-Oh fucking shit. “Perfect Day” ironically, again? Gotham’s also doing this tonight. The first horror movie called The Signal tried to use it and Lou Reed didn’t give them permission. These other shows get around that with cover versions. But it’s still lazy, like using “Bad to the Bone.”

-“Don’t worry; they’re gonna get it sorted.” Yeahhhh, about that…

-Shawn Hatosy’s in this? Cool. To me he’s the kid who always used to play the dorky li’l hip-hop guy in every movie, who now plays military dudes since being young John McCain in a TV movie. Seriously, you should see that one – Cary Tagawa from Mortal Kombat plays the evil Vietnamese general, who keeps saying “JOHN MC CAIN!” like he’s saying “IT HAS BEGUN.”

-Travis’ T-shirt just magically became 50% less sweaty during this whole scene in the kitchen.

-You get to be an officer if you’re old enough to have a double-chin.

-Even in military gear, Hatosy still looks like a dork. That’s okay, though.

-Those toy pull-along red wagons appear more in movies than real life.

-And we are back in the most mazelike back garden ever. I feel like they designed this show with Universal Halloween Horror Nights tie-ins already in mind.

-Huh. So we never see the moment where Cliff Curtis convinces Zach Galifianakis guy – just a cutaway, and then yeah, he’s out already? Odd way to create tension and then toss it away.

-“If someone needs help they go to the soldiers.” Yeah, unless they distrust the government for some reason. But hey, I’ve never in my life met anybody like THAT, so…

-Hatosy’s gonna score cuz he’s in uniform. Uhhh, is he gonna, like, unholster his weapon? Huh huh.

-D’ohhhhh! She’s using him for free drugs! (Which is something I said in college, a lot)

-Sex in the car, parked in their garage? Seems like a weirdly unromantic way to do that.

-Drinkin’ whiskey out the bottle, not thinkin’ ’bout tomorrow…probably not singin’ “Sweet Home Alabama,” all summer long.

-Zombie don’t golf.

-“Rev 21:4” cleverly reflects upside down in shadow with fence parts to look like it’s saying “Beast.”

-She pretends to be a nurse, and the government wants her to “pretend” a little longer. Make her a fake male nurse, and you have a Rob Schneider movie premise: “Jake Hale Hearst, Fake Male Nurse.” I should copyright that. (I won’t. Steal away, Rob.)

-“Not a lot of traffic these days.” How many of us in LA would gladly accept a zombie apocalypse in trade for that?

-Home-tattooing! Way to get some extra blood into the episode.

-How can you tell which of the dead bodies were or were not sick?

-Men do evil things because of fear. Hence THE TITLE OF THIS SHOW. Do you GET IT?

-Nick the addict: “What do you want me to say?” Just a suggestion, but maybe something like “I’m gonna stop using so much hair product!”

-Uncle Sam says “Drug addicts are really, really baaaad, m’kay?”

-Why do I feel like this show is trying to pander to the conservative tea party/NRA audience that hates most Hollywood stuff? I don’t think it’ll work.

-“There’s a liiiiiiight…over at the Frankenstein place!”

Only two episodes left this season? That was a short-ass season. I am really hoping things pick up. I am realizing I do not care about anyone here yet – the show needs its Dixon boys, badly. Can Hatosy pull it off in two more hours?

How was your experience, two-screen or otherwise?