The new episode of Fear the Walking Dead involved a dog, and it did not turn out well for the canine companion. Read on for our recap…
-This riot is way out of proportion for one “homeless” shooting. L.A. doesn’t even riot like this when the Lakers lose. But hey, if Crash can win the Oscar for saying we’re all blatantly racist in this town, screenwriters who live in the hills away from the actual diverse areas of the city will write it and viewers will believe it.
-The fact that this is a Barbershop makes me want to see Ice Cube and Cedric the Entertainer go after some zombies.
-“The wall’s getting hot” We don’t need no water, let the motherfucker burn.
-And in one outdoor scene, a single episode of Fear the Walking Dead is more epic than the entirety of The Purge: Anarchy
-Who the fuck calls Top Hat or Shoe in Monopoly? ALWAYS be the car. Unless it’s the video game version and you can be a Rabbid riding a fire extinguisher.
-This looks like the actual Universal Halloween Horror maze, half-constructed.
-Okay, so there are no zombies in this reality. How come nobody says “vampires”? No horror literature at all? No wonder so many of these characters are such boring people.
-“Can’t sleep when I’m waiting for someone to come home.” Here’s a free pointer – get drunk.
-One reason I’m surprised it takes so long to figure out the headshot rule: a decent sniper ought to be trying for a headshot anyway – in case the target is wearing body armor.
-Power goes out all over L.A., all at once. I guess nobody has back-up generators. Also, I want to see what Dodger Stadium is like when they get a zombie-blackout mid-game, as it looks like they just did.
-“Loser puts the game away”? By definition, if three of them are playing, there are two losers in Monopoly. And they’re done in six hours?
-The shadow of a zombie was a dog standing on two legs! LOLOL. That’s something my wife would suggest I write. If I were writing this. Also, a kitten in a little hat wielding a bazooka would save the day. I hope they do that too.
-Whoah. What the hell is “Into the Badlands”? Missed early word on this completely.
-If that Steve Jobs movie gets the Oscar, I hope somebody says, “Hand Jobs the award.”
-Why is there a fucking full-on stick maze between them and the neighbors?
-Oh crap. The dog got eaten. My wife would at this point hit me if I wrote that.
-Barber guy gets it. Headshot. Sweeney Todd that sumbitch.
-Junkie Nick gets it. Finally. And yet…even more dialogue in the next scene about what’s wrong with people.
-“You can’t fix everything, Travis” #MakeAPrimaryCharacterTraitObvious #@midnight
-Those subtitles are really small. People watching this on their tablets or whatever are screwed. Serves ’em right for watching on a tablet.
-Cliff Curtis seems to be trying for a New York accent, which is weird in L.A.
-Nanny Susan next door had time to be a full-time nanny and rig up a giant pointless greenhouse maze in her spare time. But she lived in a nice neighborhood on a nanny salary.
“-The gun doesn’t care how you feel about it.” NRA Facebook meme in 3…2…
-Okay, so this world doesn’t have zombie fiction, and maybe even not vampires either. But doesn’t it at least have RABIES? And might you not make that connection, at the very minimum?
-Yeah, rub it in that we never got to see the bouncy house get punctured in real time.
-Oh shit. Zombie neighbor’s hubby comes home. Aaaand here come the troops. Saving us some exposition about where the characters go next, I guess.
-Junkie Nick TOTALLY OBVIOUS, sneaking around while martial law is happening.
-Ironic sunset hug is ironic.
-Naturally, inner city folk get that shit’s going down, while suburban types stay stupid. Casting a Maori lead cleverly keeps people from saying something like “White People Problems.”
Next week looks like it will keep them in the same area for
budget reasons a storyline about retaking the city. This could make for fun satire, but I’m not yet convinced these showrunners have a sense of humor.