Chinese Man Gets a Toy Sword Stuck in His Butt Trying to Cut Off His Own Hemorrhoids
Blunder! Blunder! Blunder! Blunder-Crack! Hooooooooo!
By the power of anal!
He who removes the sword from the asshole…shall be king!
For a fellow from China, the word “butthurt” has a whole new meaning, as he had to have ten-inch toy sword surgically removed from the land where the sun doesn’t shine, after supposedly slipping while trying to slice off his ‘roid with said blunt (albeit hooked) instrument. And yes, he actually did make the call in to his employer to say “I can’t come into work today. I have a sword stuck in my ass…”
Oh, it gets better.
Luckily, doctors were able to remove the sword without incident and Kao spent a few days of recovery in the hospital. However, it was then that a doctor dealt him the worst blow of all informing Kao: “You never had any hemorrhoids.”
Hmm, it’s almost as if the silly tale of self-surgery was actually a cover story, because as low as the guy’s embarrassment threshold seems to be, he couldn’t quite bring himself to admit that he crams action figure accessories for fun. Hypothetically.
In case anyone here speaks Chinese, here’s the story on the TV news:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?t=41&v=sNKPNvrltck
via RocketNews24
About The Author
Luke Y. Thompson has been writing professionally about movies and pop-culture since 1999, and has also been an actor in some extremely cheap culty and horror movies you will probably never hear much about (he is nonetheless mostly proud of them, as he met his wife on one). As editor of The Robot's Voice since 2012, he can take the blame for the majority of the site's content, all of which he creates because he loves you very, very much. (Although he loves nachos more. Sorry.) Prior to TRV, Luke wrote for publications that include the New Times LA, Los Angeles CityBeat, E! Online, OC Weekly, Geekweek, GeekChicDaily, The L.A. Times, The Village Voice, LA Weekly, and Nerdist