Movies

The Frozen: Retread’s Bore, er, I Mean The Huntsman: Winter’s War Trailer Is Here

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winterswar

How convenient is it for story purposes that the wicked queen had an outcast sister with ice powers? If she beats this one, I’m guessing they find yet another who’s good with a bow and loves vampires. Meanwhile, the image of Charlize Theron with black slime coming from her mouth only makes me consider a distasteful joke about indecent acts with Danny DeVito’s Penguin.

Chris Hemsworth as an utterly token sex object is funny, however. If indeed he is that, as much as the trailer implies. As fairy tales go, that’s one many consumers can put some faith in. And the bluntness of the text that basically says “from the people who gave you horrible, cynical cash-ins on Sleeping Beauty and Alice in Wonderland” is at least honest, possibly more so than the producers imagine.

LET IT BLOW! LET IT BLOW! No originality any more!

Let it blow! Let it blow! Who the fuck’s this movie for?

Here we go, to boring rip-off land…

Yes, the women are leads…but the story still looks so deadly bland.

About Author

Luke Y. Thompson has been writing professionally about movies and pop-culture since 1999, and has also been an actor in some extremely cheap culty and horror movies you will probably never hear much about (he is nonetheless mostly proud of them, as he met his wife on one). As editor of The Robot's Voice since 2012, he can take the blame for the majority of the site's content, all of which he creates because he loves you very, very much. (Although he loves nachos more. Sorry.) Prior to TRV, Luke wrote for publications that include the New Times LA, Los Angeles CityBeat, E! Online, OC Weekly, Geekweek, GeekChicDaily, The L.A. Times, The Village Voice, LA Weekly, and Nerdist