Comics, TV, Zombies

The Walking Dead Recap: Daryl, Look Behind You! Seriously!

Gene Page/AMC

Gene Page/AMC

Finally a Daryl episode this week? Oh hell yes. Let’s get this SOB started…

-Mystery gunfire! Daryl takes a brutal skid, then gets back on like it’s nothing. Abe and Sasha go Bonnie and Clyde on their assailants. None of this seems to attract the giant walker horde, so I presume they got out in front pretty far.

-Into the Woods! Out in the woods!

-Daryl makes it to a complete stop before collapsing, because he’s cool like that.

-Crispy motorcyclist zombie! Or is it the smoking dude from Beetlejuice out on a joyride gone bad?

-Daryl must be out of gas. Walking with a dead motorcycle is shitty and heavy otherwise.

-Daryl’s exposed bare chest – and now his peeling off his jacket for the right to bare arms – just increased the ratings with women tenfold. Coincidentally, I give my wife a shirt like that every time she auditions for the role of Butch Prison Chick.

-How did you not hear that guy sneaking up, Daryl? Hunting’s supposed to be your thing.

-Fancy schmancy effects time, to simulate semi-consciousness.

-“You don’t say shit, and I don’t kill you.” I didn’t know you could say “shit” on AMC. Maybe this is a test swearing run for when Negan comes along.

-“We’re reasonable people.” Glad you explained that, because it was not obvious.

-You’re saying something, but I like the blackened zombies better than anything you are trying to explain to me.

-If you know Daryl will say anything to survive, why would you ask him at great length whether you should kill him or not? Logic, people. I know you’re out of your head and starving, but he’s not gonna say, “Yeah, you should totally just shoot me now.”

-Aaaand the kid has a medical condition, because they needed SOMETHING contrived for Daryl to sympathize with.

-Moss Man! Does he have a pine scent? I thought rolling stones gathered no moss, but walking zombies do? I mean, Walking Dead, Rolling Stones, same difference these days, right? Have you seen Jagger lately?

-Okay, so if Abe and Sasha hook up, what’s their couple name? Let’s decide now. Sashbraham? Abe-sha?

-Zombie behind glass door is cool. But what was that room used for by dead military dude in the pre-apocalypse world? Enhanced interrogations? Isn’t he an insurance guy, or was that just his cover story?

-Wow, those are some terrible public domain posters on the wall. What’s with the car-shaped paper cutout?

-So, zombie locked himself in before he zombified. Interesting that he choose not to shoot himself, I suppose.

-“You goin’ stag was not an option.” “Tell me why.” “Because you’re a woman driver.” [He didn’t actually say that last part, in so many words anyway. But he was TOTALLY thinking it]

– “Loose ends make my ass itch.” Line of the night.

-Thanks for the lecture on accountability, Sash. Most profound. It’s like you’re the Jiminy Cricket of the apocalypse.

-Off-topic – is Seth Rogen making a Madea joke in that new movie trailer? Which audience members that go to those movies will go to his too?

-If that guy had any real proficiency with a gun whatsoever, what Daryl just did trying to take it with a crossbow still in hand would not have worked and he’d be shot.

-So, to give back the stuff you took, you need to be bribed? And a hand-cut bit of wood works? This is like when Captain Kirk fools a Star Trek alien by learning its patterns.

-Oh no! The legs of some bad guys!

-Hi, I’m a bad guy, just gonna casually lean against this rock with a highly visible zombie inside it….OWW! Who could have foreseen that happening?

-“Walk it off.” Good advice for the recently amputated.

-Yes, why the hell did you come back to save this asshole, Daryl? OH RIGHT the sick kid just like I predicted.

-Box with the word “Taxes!” on it. Kudos, set decorator – I noticed that and I appreciate it.

-This zombie on the bridge sounds like my Dad’s sinuses.

-Ha! Of course dead military guy has a stash of Cuban cigars.

-What the hell was that slow-motion nonsense with Abraham risking face bites just to yell at a pinned corpse? Pretentious as hell, but I guess it got the walker riled up enough to shake free and fall, leaving the RPG conveniently behind.

-“Self-awareness is a beautiful thing.” Rubbing it in is not.

-Beer and air conditioning. Yep.

-“I like the way you call bullshit” is not a great pickup line. But looks like we will need a couple name for sure now.

-“I am here for you! Like always!” says Chris Hardwick. Hey, man, don’t pin this shit on me – I am NOT the one who said “You know what would make my favorite show better? Some skinny guy with too much hair product trying to impress cast members each week.”

-As things got harder, people got harder? Uhhhh…Abraham just got, uh, harder.

-What the literal hell is that? Zombies under melted glass, burned?

-Yep, guess so. Elaborately poor trap, that. And that puts an end to anybody needing insulin any more.

-Well, at least this time Daryl heard the guy sneaking up on him. Not quite quickly enough though.

-Wait, the bike had gas in it this whole time? Then wha…why…whu…Never mind.

-“Sorry.” “You’re gonna be.” That’s the Daryl we love.

-I can’t read that, Daryl. Uncover it some more? Oh hey, hidden truck! If he’d seen that there in the first place, we…wha…whuh…Never mind.

-Abraham trying to score with Sasha by wearing a uniform. Don’t we call that stolen valor, or something?

-WHAT? I don’t get a trailer for next week unless I watch the next show too? Gee, I could have done that if this weren’t ON MY DVR. All I want to know is if we finally catch up to the existing timeline, or go backwards and see it from another POV yet again.

-Also, your Glenn theory sucks. Yes, yours. And I include you show writers in this.

About Author

Luke Y. Thompson has been writing professionally about movies and pop-culture since 1999, and has also been an actor in some extremely cheap culty and horror movies you will probably never hear much about (he is nonetheless mostly proud of them, as he met his wife on one). As editor of The Robot's Voice since 2012, he can take the blame for the majority of the site's content, all of which he creates because he loves you very, very much. (Although he loves nachos more. Sorry.) Prior to TRV, Luke wrote for publications that include the New Times LA, Los Angeles CityBeat, E! Online, OC Weekly, Geekweek, GeekChicDaily, The L.A. Times, The Village Voice, LA Weekly, and Nerdist